ALL MY DEVICES’ YEARS SUCCESSFULLY INCREMENTED!

Isn’t it great?! I was kinda getting worried halfway through the year, saying “oh no, what if the year on my phone is busted? I won’t know what year it is and I’ll get confused” but it’s okay cuz it turns out it works! WHEW! THAT’S A REASON TO CELEBRATE WOOO LET’S GO OUT AND GET PISSED!

Yeah, I’m not really one who celebrates the New Year. I don’t see the point. The year is incremented by one. Whoopdedoo. It’s not any more special than any other day. The year has incremented every 365/366 days without fail since forever. 😛 Chinese New Year is more interesting – it’s the Year of the Horse in 2014, right? I’m a horse, so that’s pretty cool. Kinda matches up to it being “my” year, too, since I’m due to start my first job later this month. 😀 Speaking of Chinese New Year, I’ll need to do the new render soon. I might need a horse. 😛

I tend to celebrate events rather than just normal days. I celebrated my birthday, graduating and getting my first job, as well as everyone else’s birthday. I don’t see the point of celebrating something that happens every single year that doesn’t really affect or celebrate anyone.

Anyway, yep. I don’t really have much to say other than that. Not much goes on around here. I only posted twice last year, and one of those was an entry I wrote before 2013 but didn’t post for a while, so it shows that I’m kinda lost for topics. 😛 I got a job as I said. It’s in Brighton with Mad Atom Games. So that’s cool, but I can’t really say more about it because I’ve not started yet. And because of the NDA. 😛

Oh, the Xbox One and PS4 were released but I couldn’t care less. Still haven’t got any new PS Vita games but I should try Tearaway and Dragon’s Crown (if it’s even out over here yet). I bought Patapon and I’m planning to buy Patapon 2 and 3 because I never actually owned the originals and can’t believe I never bought them. Still praying for Patapon 4 but it just won’t happen.

I started playing the the non-pussy much better version of XCOM: Enemy Unknown again. The DOS version, playing it using OpenXcom. Still really hard even on difficulty 2/5, but I’m doing pretty well, thanks to some cool-ass tactics and reloading the game when something goes retardedly wrong. Should be able to clear it. 😀

AssAssins Peed 4 is just as terrible to play as always but the sea combat is amazing. That’s the only reason I’m still playing it, and probably will do until all the sea activities dry up. Like I said when talking about AssAssins Peed 3, they should just scrap everything apart from the sea combat because I’m bored of the shite combat system and the movement system that becomes even more broken with each game and the AI which is so stupid it hurts. Online is friggin’ terrible as usual.

Dinner’s ready now. Might pick this up later. 😉

Yum yum all eaten. Now where was I? Er… oh yeah.

We got Age of Empires II HD Edition (the best AoE and one of very few RTSs I’m happy to play) and everyone else played it once or twice and decided that AoE III is better and now want to play that. Probably because it’s got better graphics and is more watered down. AoE II is probably too complicated for them. Y’know, four resources instead of three, only way of getting resources is by looking for them and guarding them instead of being able to make infinite supplies, villagers have to carry stuff back instead of it magically appearing in your stores, it’s hard to spam siege weapons and it doesn’t really work anyway…

Got Half Minute Hero cuz it’s an awesome game and I was going to buy it years ago but forgot. 😛

Errr… I think that’s it. So yeah. That’s the past year or so in a nutshell. 😛

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This console business…

It’s getting pretty boring hearing about it already, y’know. Everyone on Bookface won’t shut the fuck up about these new consoles. My entire feed is plastered with the same thing over and over again. OMG PS4 IS FUCKING COOL SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY THAT XBOX ONE LOL PIECE OF SHIT. Might as well just not look at Facebook for the next 20 weeks, cuz I know exactly what everyone’s going to say. :/

Let’s talk about what I can figure out from the consoles. To start, the Xbox One. It’s like an entertainment system that only just remembered that it should be a games console. First, it’s got Kinect built in, which has shit motion sensing and hugely pointless voice recognition. I don’t know anyone who has Kinect that still uses it. It also has a TV tuner. And I don’t get it. If you have a games console, you have a TV. Most TVs… er… have the ability to receive a TV signal. So why would I plug the aerial into the Xbox? I can’t, anyway, since I don’t have a digibox! My TV has Freeview built-in! 😛

One big issue, though, is this DRM and check-in system that I don’t really understand. You buy the game, but you have to install it to play it, and that game gets registered on your account. Here it gets hazy. If you want to sell your game because you’re done playing through its traditionally modern 3 hour story mode, you might be able to if Microsoft feel like it, but you have to pay a fee… or maybe the person you sell the game to has to pay a fee. Something like that. You also can’t lend the game to your friends, because it’s bound to your account. Don’t have a clue how they’re gonna manage that – maybe the games have product keys or each DVD has an ID number or whatever. So basically, it’s like Steam for consoles.

Sounds pretty gay, but I don’t get what the fuss is about. I don’t know anyone who lends games to their friends any more. And if your friend really does want to play a game they don’t have, there’s normally this thing called a “demo”. Failing that, do what someone I know does on Steam – give them your account password so they can log into your account and play it. What’re Microsoft going to do about that? 😛

The answer is probably this “check-in” system that I really don’t know much about. From what I can gather, you have to keep your console connected to the Internet to play games on it. If you don’t connect to the Internet, you can still play games, but after 24 hours of being disconnected, you can’t play any more until you reconnect. If you’re signed in on a different console, you have to connect every hour. Or something. That sucks.

But then again, does it? Who doesn’t have their console connected to the Internet? Apart from those who don’t have an Internet connection, of course. I haven’t played a game on Xbox Live in years, yet I still keep it connected so I can get updates and shit. What’s the big deal about keeping the new console connected to the Internet? And if we just go back to my idea about letting friends log into your account and play your games… this system won’t entirely stop that. If you unplug your console from the ‘net, and they connect using your account on their console, your friend can play your game uninterrupted. You’ll even be able to play the same game for 24 hours until your console locks you out. But then what do you do? Reconnect, and kick your friend off, then immediately disconnect. The check-in timer is refreshed, and you can keep playing for 24 hours. Duh. 😛

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the idea. It’s like a crappier, stricter version of Steam, and it basically allows the console to lock you out. It would especially suck if Xbox Live went down. But I don’t see how it ruins the console. Keep it connected and everything’s okay. Who lends games to friends, anyway? That’s so 90’s. If they wanna play your game so much, invite them over. 😛

The biggest issue for me is the price. The 360 was very, very reasonably priced. You can pick up a pre-owned 250GB Xbox 360 for about £120 now, or a brand new one for £200. And that’s great – it blew the PS3 out of the water. People who didn’t have great deal of money could still play the newest games. But the Xbox One? It’s gonna be £429 at launch.

Ouch.

You see, there’s this games console that’s been around for a hell of a long time, called the “PC”. You can do anything on it. You can change it to look how you want it to look, upgrade any part of it, install anything. You can watch TV on it if you get and install an inexpensive tuner card, and it comes with voice recognition if you really want it. And games are generally £10 cheaper. Problem is, it’s very expensive. And that’s why “dedicated” games consoles exist. Because they’re really only designed to do one thing, play games. Sure, it can play DVDs and stuff, but that’s just a side-effect of the DVD drive in the console harnessed by the software. It can stream pictures and videos from your PC, but again, that’s just in the software. This focus is what makes them cheap.

The Xbox One totally misses the point. It’s designed to do more than play games. You can also watch TV on it, and it’s also a crap exercise machine. Adding these things increases the price. Now, the One is almost as expensive as a basic gaming PC. Yet you still can’t do whatever you want on it, you can’t modify it or upgrade it, and games are still £10 more expensive than PC games.

So, what about the PS4? Well, it appears to be much better. It’s a games console, plain and simple. You put a disc in, and you play the game on it. You don’t have to connect to the Internet and “check in”, and if you still live in the 90’s, you can lend your games to your friends just by handing them the disc. That also means you can trade them in to get back some of the money you wasted on it when you’re done playing their likely shitty single player content. There’s no motion sensor, no voice recognition, and no TV tuner. You can also stream Netflix or LoveFilm to it without paying anything extra, if you’re into that sort of thing. However, Sony’s decided to drop one of its advantages over Xbox. On the PS4, to play games online, you’ll need a PlayStation Plus subscription. But, that does come with additional benefits, such as free games and discounts. With Xbox Live Gold, you get discounts on Arcade games, but very rarely.

And the price? It’s actually a lot less than the cost of a launch PS3 – only* £349 (* not really that cheap). This makes it £80 less than the One, probably because it has no pointless extra features. So you can somewhat understand why people are jizzing these fanboyish posts all over my Bookface wall:

“Sony just kill that Microsoft!!! NO DRM, NO AUTH!!”
“I am clapping so much!!”
“Best news!! :D”
“BEST FUCKING NEWS!! Sony JUST GOT ALL THE CHEER!!!!”
“PS4 £349!!! Oh Sony, why you so nice!!”
“Sony has done nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. :)”
“sony, just take my money, take it all”
“pretty much had multiple orgasms”
“£349 for the PS4? Gutted Microsoft, proper been shat upon well and truly.”
“SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.”
“By the sounds of my facebook everyone is getting ps4 and xbox got shafted with a massive dildo and no one has said they’ll buy it!”
“TAKE THAT XBOX!!! you screwed up big time.”

It’s pretty pathetic.

I’m not a fanboy, and I have no allegiance to any console or any company, unlike some… very strange people. So, which would I have? Well, last time new home consoles were released, I got an Xbox 360 because it was basically half the price of the PS3, and there was no way I’d be able to afford a PS3. This time, if I were to take literally nothing that mattered into consideration, I’d say the PS4. Of course, really, I wouldn’t have either of them.

It’s a bit different when you actually think, though. What’s really getting on my nerves is that people are completely forgetting something… major. These are consoles. They’re completely useless. You don’t buy a console for the console. You buy a console for the games. Despite what people have decided already, what will really decide the console they buy will be the console exclusives. And they’ve barely even been announced.

So, let’s talk about the ones that have been announced. The games, the exclusives, the things that actually matter, unless you’re considering using your One just to get TV on it, or using your PS4 to… act as a doorstop. 😛 If you get an Xbox One, you will have access to several “acclaimed” games: Forza 5, The Witcher 3, Dead Rising 3, Halo 5, the new Killer Instinct, and Metal Gear Solid 5 and Crimson Dragon. Not bad. Apart from The Witcher and Halo, there’re some possibly good games there. Can’t help but wonder why MGS5 is an Xbox exclusive this time, though. It’s like they want to keep it away from poorer people. 😛 UPDATE: Found out  MGS 5 is not an exclusive. The worst thing about game journalists is when they try to do their job. They always fail. 😛 Oh, and almost everyone failed to mention the amazing-looking Crimson Dragon as an exclusive, so I added that, too.

Also available exclusively for the Xbox One are brand new games which, after reading the blurb, I still know almost nothing about them, such as Project Spark (likely some crap game making tool for 8-year-olds), Quantum Break (somehow integrates TV and gaming together, sounds frustratingly stupid), Ryse (sounds catastrophically boring), D4 (cliché story) and Sunset Overdrive (literally clueless about what this is, says it’s made by Insomniac as if it matters). And then you also have total shit like Minecraft: Money Milking Edition 2 and Rabbids Invasion, neither of which should be bought, ever, but they will sell because some people are utterly stupid.

So a pretty good wad of games that you can only play if you buy an Xbox One. Ah, but what exclusives does PS4 have to offer? Well, let’s start with their “acclaimed” games… Final Fantasy XV, Kingdom Hearts III, (UPDATE: KH3 isn’t excl2usive. Go journalists.) Infamous: Second Son, and Killzone. Er… yeah, that’s it. Hm. Oh, and there’re some new titles, Driveclub (I don’t get it), Knack (don’t have a clue what this is supposed to be) and The Order: 1886 (cliché description, sounds lame). But… er… yeah. Pretty empty shelf.

Of course, there are other games, but they’re available for both consoles, and even for PC, PS3 and Xbox 360, so it’s pointless taking them into consideration when you’re choosing the console you should buy. Most people won’t want both consoles, or may only be able to afford one of the two, so you’ve gotta consider you can’t play the exclusives of the console you don’t buy.

And me? I’ve changed my mind – I’d get the Xbox One. No question.

Funny, isn’t it? Yeah, the console is locked down with DRM, you need to connect to the Internet to use it, you can’t trade in games, it’s more expensive and Microsoft is cramming it with useless shit. But who cares? Who really, actually cares? It has infinity% more games that I wouldn’t be able to play if I bought its rival! I mean, there’re three exclusive games on it that I want – Forza 5, Dead Rising 3 and Crimson Dragon. I’m even tempted by Killer Instinct, but that’s just nostalgia talking – I was never good at it, and I don’t really like fighting games any more. As for the PS4, well, despite it being the better, cheaper console and being a companion to my Vita, I don’t want any of the games it’s offering. I’m willing to pay more and put up with DRM for a console I’d actually use more. How does this DRM crap affect me, anyway? Not at all! Unless their servers or my ‘net connection dies, both of which are unlikely, because neither is hosted by Blizzard or EA! 😛

You see, when making a major purchase like a console, I always try to think about how much I’d use it. It’s crazy buying a £400 console if I’m only gonna play on it for about 20 hours. Let’s take games as an example. I like to divide a game’s price by the number of hours I’ve used it, which gives me a “Worthiness Score”. The lower the score, the more it was worth the price. For example, Borderlands 2, including all the DLC and everything, cost me £44.98. I’ve played it for 301 hours so far, so it gets a score of 0.149, which is mighty impressive. Basically, the game cost me about 15p per hour to play. I’ve definitely got my money’s worth. 🙂

So, let’s do this with the consoles. Of course, I can’t know how many hours I’ll play on the consoles, especially since two games rarely have the same worthiness score, and it’s not likely the consoles will count the hours. So instead, I’m going to divide the price of the console by the number of games I want for it. Ideally, I’d like the score to be the same or less than the average price of games for the console, since it’s kinda depressing when the console is worth more than the games I got for it. 😛 So, I’m looking for 40 or less.

Let’s do the Vita, since I’m interested. 😛 Really, I’m looking for 35 or less points for the Vita, since most Vita games are a little bit cheaper than the standard £40. I’ve got 7 games for it, and it cost me about £240 for the console, memory card and starter kit. BUT you’ve gotta consider that 3 of my games are actually arcade games. Combined, I’d say they cost me about the same as a standard boxed Vita game. So, let’s say £240/4 = 60, which isn’t great, but it’s getting there. 😛

(UPDATE: The following are my older calculations based on information from stupid game journalists. Now that I know which games are actually exclusive, see the bottom of the post for my updated scores.)

The Xbox One, then. £429/4 (The exclusives I mentioned earlier, as well as Mirror’s Edge… but then again, do I really want it? I dunno. I’ll just keep it there to be safe.) makes a score of 107.25. Pretty bad. Four more games and it’d be almost worth it. 😛

Now, the PS4. Cheaper, £349, but only divided by 1 (Mirror’s Edge), and oh no! That gives it a score of 349, which, despite being a cheaper console, makes it three times less worth my money than the Xbox One! You see? Consoles are nothing. Games are everything.

Of course, other people’s scores will be different. People might not want Forza. Some people might be Halo fanboys. Some might like Killzone or the massive oxymoron that is Final Fantasy XV. More games will be announced over time, so my score might change as well. But as far as I can tell, most people haven’t even considered the games and just said they’re getting the PS4. What can I say. They’re stupid.

But as I said, I’m not getting either console. Maybe in the far future, when the price, say, halves (or when I get a well-paid job :P), but not any time soon. Why? Well, partly because the Xbox isn’t focused and Microsoft’s pulled a dick move, and partly because the PS4 will most likely have the same crap controller it’s been using for the past 15 years or so. But the main reason? I’ve already got a Perfect Console. The PC. 😛

It holds all my games (which cost less than console games) that I can play whenever I want, whether I’m on the Internet or not (unless it’s a shitty EA game which I don’t play). I can record gameplay videos and waste other people’s time with them without needing to spend loads of cash on equipment. I can watch TV, browse the Internet, do work and write blog posts on it. 😉 I can talk to friends and family on it using a program that costs nothing. I’ve got add-ons like a wireless receiver for Xbox 360 controllers, a webcam and the PC-exclusive mouse. It has 3D capability and can output to up to three monitors so far. It loads things faster and has better graphics. Instead of being capped at 30FPS in games, I can reach 120FPS. And if it starts to fall behind in some way, I can buy an upgrade and install it myself. It also has a Worthiness Score of about 0.0001. You get the idea. 😛 It might be expensive, but it’s literally perfect. Why would I spend money on a console? Apart from playing games I can’t play on the PC because of exclusivity bullshit, I don’t have a friggin’ clue. Anyone wanna convince me? 😛

Y’know, I haven’t mentioned the Wii U yet. So… Wee Poo. Done. 😛

So, let me try encouraging comments and feedback, even though no-one is gonna read this. Even though it’s about very popular, current issues, and people should technically be swarming over it. What console’re you getting, if any, and why? 🙂


UPDATE!!
Just found out, MGS5 is coming to PS4 and Kingdom Hearts III is coming to Xbox One. It’s literally impossible to figure this out because every friggin’ game reporter sucks. 😛

So that means that one of the exclusives I want is no longer an exclusive. Now it’s only 2-0 to Xbox One. 😛

OH, SHIT, WAIT, just found that Crimson Dragon is an Xbox One exclusive. It’s back to
3-0. 😛 I’d better update my personal Worthiness Scores that I gave the consoles:

Xbox One: £429 / 5 = 85.8pts
(Forza 5, Dead Rising 3, Crimson Dragon, Metal Gear Solid 5, Mirror’s Edge)

PS4: £349 / 2 = 174.5pts
(Metal Gear Solid 5, Mirror’s Edge)

X1’s still winning for me.


UPDATE 2!!

Oh look at that. Dead Rising 3 is on the Steam Coming Soon list. But now Sunset Overdrive has some content to show and it looks good. Also, Forza Horizon 2, since I enjoyed the original Horizon mucho.

In addition to that. I actually have no interest in Mirror’s Edge Poo any more. And hell, Kingdom Hearts 2 was good, so let’s add KH3 to both platforms, why not. Oh, Crackdown. Maybe that won’t be shit. Oh! Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare. That looks fun. And Peggle 2 since it’s not on PC because PopCap are sell-outs. And, the XB1 will be available without Kinect… although I’m not sure if Crimson Dragon will work without it. Eh, can always buy it later if needed…

Erm… actually… since when the hell did the XB1 have a price drop WITH Kinect? I got it right here for £370 WITH Kinect and FIFA 14. Er, okay… soooooo:

Xbox One: £369.99 / 9 = 41.11pts
(Forza 5, Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive, Crackdown, Crimson Dragon, Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare, Peggle 2)

PS4: £349.99 / 2 = 174.99pts
(Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3)

Can’t QUITE fathom why everyone was humping the PS4. SERIOUSLY don’t understand. Why. The PS4 has, like, no exclusives. SingStar Ultimate Party yaaaaaaay. It’s a doorstop. And it’s not even that cheap any more… not like it WAS cheap in the first place.

I’m getting tempted by the XB1. SERIOUSLY tempted. The Worthiness Score is almost down to 40. One more game. If one more game that I love is announced for it, I’ll be getting it.

…when I can afford it. Really can’t spare £370 right now. 😛


UPDATE 3!!

ACTUALLY wait wait wait. I’m being totally unfair. Peggle 2 doesn’t cost the same as Metal Gear Solid 5. Nor does Crimson Dragon… er, I think. Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare is less than £40, as well. Together they probably cost £40.

Oh, and No Man’s Sky looks pretty good. Although I don’t believe ANYTHING I see at E3. Because, you know. 90% of what devs show are probably pre-rendered fake gameplay demos. Games in development that look AND play AND perform worse on release are QUITE common nowadays. But anyway it doesn’t affect anything No Man’s Sky is multiplatform.

OH and Little Big Planet 3, PS4 exclusive. Which… might be good. I dunno. Can’t really see it being any different, but I liked LBP PS Vita, so…

Xbox One: £369.99 / 8 = 52.85pts
(Forza 5, Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive, Crackdown, Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Crimson Dragon & Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare & Peggle 2)

PS4: £349.99 / 4 = 87.49pts
(Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Little Big Planet 3)

Wellll now. PS4’s kinda catching up. That’s good. Sort of. Y’see, Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive and Crimson Dragon are games I REALLY want. Whereas… all the titles on the PS4 (bar MGS5) are games I “kinda” want.

Won’t be getting either any time soon, so there’s still plenty of time for a killer game to come along and save Sony. Y’know what WOULD make me sit up and listen to the PS4? Patapon 4. Lol never mind. The chance of that being released is about equal to a snowball’s chance in hell. And if it WAS, I’d expect it to be on Vita.


UPDATE 4!!

Alrighty! More stuff. Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate is an exclusive. Exclusive to everything I don’t own, ie: not PC or X360. Fussake. Well, I’d get that, since I never actually played all the way through Warriors Orochi 3 (it was a rental).

Star Wars Battlefront is a maybe. Because Battlefront II was… er… broken. It was unpolished to hell and the single player campaign was impossible. I’m not even kidding, it was ACTUALLY impossible. Oh, and the people who made Battlefield 3 & 4 are doing it so it’ll likely be broken for about 2 years after release and will suck. I hate Battlefield.

The Crew is also a maybe. It depends on whether it’s got fun arcade driving physics or annoying-as-fuck simulation physics. “Annoying-as-fuck” because simulation racer physics pretend to be accurate but are just a load of garbage (see Gran Turismo) and make the game incredibly dull. Oh, and if the game actually works. Unlike Test Drive Unlimited 2.

Drive Club looks good. It’s a PS4 exclusive. However, if I got Drive Club, I would NOT get The Crew, because from what I can tell, they’re the same kind of game, so it’s completely inconsequential in making a decision.

One thing that caught my eye was Scalebound. There’s pretty much no information on it at all yet, but it’s got me interested. Chances are that’s because I’m a complete sucker for dragons. 😛 The description reminds me of Drakan – you come across a dragon and form some sort of bond with them. That plot element is common among games where a dragon is your ally. No idea why. One downside, though – the people making it make Metal Gear Rising: Stupidword. But they were also responsible for Bayonetta and, back when they were Clover Studio, probably the most amazing 3D beat-em-up ever – God Hand. I’m gonna put it on the list. Y’know what’s funniest? It’s an Xbox One exclusive!

Man, I feel bad for the PS4. Sony can never get the decent games. 😛 Anyway, here’s the lineup:

Xbox One: £369.99 / 10 = 36.99pts
(Forza 5, Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive, Crackdown, Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate, Scalebound, Crimson Dragon & Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare & Peggle 2)

PS4: £349.99 / 5 = 69.99pts
(Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Little Big Planet 3, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate)

Ah, PS4 was catching up a little, as well. But then Xbox One just had to pass the threshold. I guess that’s it. There are 12 games available for it which aren’t available on anything I currently have. It doesn’t have to convince me any more. As soon as I can afford it, I’ll be grabbing an Xbox One. 🙂

I don’t see how people can criticise it any more. Sure, Kinect is friggin’ lousy and I hate it. The TV features are a bit dumb, too. But they got rid of that DRM crap, it’s dropped in price, and they’re offering it without Kinect for the same price as a PS4. And you’d have to be mental to buy it without Kinect, because there are no game bundles for a Kinect-less Xbox. I’d pay £40 more for Titanfall and MGS V: Ultrashort Prequel AND a Kinect, no doubt.

I can’t really see any reason to criticize it any more. Can’t speak for the console’s performance or software, although I doubt it’ll struggle to run games developed for it specifically. 😛

But yeah. No more updates for this post now. Unless Sony gets a killer game. I can’t imagine what it could be to make me give up all those X1 exclusives I want, though.


UPDATE 5!!

HA-HA-HA HAAAA DIS-RE-GARD MOST OF THIS!

What scores were we on again? Well, lemme update them:

Xbox One: £369.99 / 8.5 = 43.53pts
(Forza 5, Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive, Crackdown, Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate, Scalebound, Crimson Dragon & Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare & Peggle 2)

PS4: £349.99 / 5 = 87.25pts
(Metal Gear Solid 5, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Little Big Planet 3, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate)

PvZ Garden Warfare is available on PC already so I really don’t know why I put that there. Maybe the answer is higher up but I dunno. But anyway, Metal Gear Solid 5 has been announced for PC. Loooooool. 😛

Why am I even considering getting a console? For all I know, all these “exclusives”… might not be. 😛 I mean, Dead Rising 3 came to PC. And now MGS5. I don’t expect Forza to come to PC but I bet Sunset Overdrive has a good chance. I mean, it’s a friggin’ fast-paced arcade shooter so do want mouse and keyboard controls plz. And Warriors Orochi? I can see that coming to PC too. I mean, DW8XL:CE did alright on Steam so I’d expect that to do about the same. I think Peggle 2 (or a variation of it) is coming to mobiles, actually, but I’m not sure. But what about Scalebound? That has such little info available that it’s almost painful, but they could be all like “oh, yeah, we’re doing it for PC too, and it’ll run at 120FPS and the graphics will blow your eyes out but only on PC”.

I love how people were like “HAAAA PC IS DEAD CONSOLES ARE GOING TO RULE THE WORLD AND EAT YOUR BABIES” then people went “OHHHH NETBOOKS ARE MAKING PCS COMPLETELY POINTLESS THEY’RE GONNA DIE” and then people started going “WHOOOOAH TABLETS ARE FUCKING AWESOME AND THEY’RE KILLING OFF PCS FASTER THAN YOU DID MY MUM LAST NIGHT” and now everyone’s going “WHOOOLLYYY SHIIIT MOBILE GAMING IS THE BEST KIND OF GAMING AND IT’S KILLING THE FUCK OUT OF CONSOLES AND PCS BUT ESPECIALLY PCS BECAUSE NO-ONE USES A PC NOW BECAUSE TABLETS AND PHONES EXIST AND THEY GET MORE USAGE THAN PCS DO AMONG PEOPLE OUTSIDE WITH NO ACCESS TO A PC AND VARIOUS OTHER BULLSHIT STATISTICS” but PC gamers are like “lol wat” and just keep playing through their library of PC games and emulators with their superior graphics cards and CPUs while talking to friends, minimising to check a wiki and using a controller that suits them. 😛


UPDATE 6!!

Lmfao…

Xbox One: £369.99 / 6.5 = 56.92pts
(Forza 5, Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive, Crackdown, Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate, Scalebound, Crimson Dragon & Peggle 2)

PS4: £349.99 / 3 = 116.66pts
(Kingdom Hearts 3, No Man’s Sky, Little Big Planet 3, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate)

No Man’s Sky was never gonna be available for Xbox One. But it’s gonna be available for PC, so PS4 loses it as well. Not like I’m interested anymore anyway because they’ve actively been dodging the question “what do you do in the game?”. Seriously, I’m stunned that barely anyone has noticed. The core Forza series is a simulation racer so I don’t have a friggin’ clue why I put it there. The elusiveness of information on Scalebound combined with an interview that says they’re aiming to “target a wider audience” suggests development is slow, water is being added and no-one knows what it’s supposed to be, so it’s setting off my bomb alert.

I played Driveclub. It missed the list. It’s so. Fucking. Boring. It’s the most generic racer since… since like… Gran Turismore Fun Needed. It has no personality at all. YAY PRETTY GRAPHICS SUPER PAINT FLAKES WHEN YOU ZOOM IN WOWOWOW yeah look a bit further out at the idiotically low-res backdrop which ruins every camera shot and maybe play the game too instead of fapping in camera mode.

It’s been more than a YEAR since release and there’s still barely anything on either console! Even funnier is the fact that the lists haven’t INCREASED in size for months because I keep finding out some games are coming to PC! It’s absolutely friggin’ hilarious!

 


UPDATE 7!!

So my dad bought an Xbox One, probably because he’s having a mid-life crisis. I mean, there’s no other reason. He doesn’t play games, doesn’t have time to play games, can’t really play games very well, and the consoles have no games on them anyway.

Xbox One: £239.99 / 1 = 239.99pts
(Forza Horizon 2, Sunset Overdrive, Crackdown, Kingdom Hearts 3, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate, Scalebound, Crimson Dragon & Peggle 2)

PS4: £299.99 / 1 = 299.99pts
(Kingdom Hearts 3, Little Big Planet 3, Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate)

Forza Horizon 2 is hella old now so it’s off the list, but Forza Horizon 3 came out, so that’s another point back to Xbox One NO HAHA WAIT, IT’S ON PC although the port is absolutely fucking dire but HEY! It’s on PC! That’s all that matters! And you know what’s funnier? I said “I don’t expect Forza to come to PC” AND IT FUCKING DID, LMFAO!

At this rate, Crackdown is just NEVER going to come out and I don’t really care about it any more because it won’t be as good as Crackdown 1 anyway! Kingdom Hearts 3… pretty much the same thing! At this rate it’s never gonna happen and it’s not going to be as good as KH2, because modern gaming.

Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate isn’t something I’m interested in any more either, because I could EASILY get the non-Ultimate version for Xbox 360 if I REALLY wanted it. Don’t give a damn about Peggle 2 any more and I’ve heard Crimson Dragon isn’t anywhere NEAR as good as Panzer Dragoon, so knock those off too!

And now I’ve saved the best for last! You remember Scalebound, that… uh… game thing? I think it’s an action-RPG? Yeah who cares, IT’S COMING TO PC LMFAO! The ONLY Xbox-exclusive game I was actually interested in any more, boom! Lost! Not an exclusive! Shitty port? Probably! But you can play it on PC and that’s the end of that! Will I buy it? No way in hell unless it has a demo and proves that it isn’t shit! But again who cares! Non-exclusive! No points!

So there you go, if you bought a Xbox One or a PS4, I have no idea why unless it was an Xbox One and you like Halo and Forza Non-Horizon. If it was a PS4, I have no idea why… and full stop. It’s now, hilariously, more expensive and… seriously, what’s ON it? I mean, games you can’t get on something else, that is. Ratchet & Clank’s one, right? And… Little Big Planet 3’s another although that’s pretty old now. Er… Bloodborne, that Dark Souls-like game probably with fake difficulty everywhere? Oh, The Last Guardian, that game everyone’s screaming about even though it’s never looked that good and has been in development hell for ages and therefore will definitely not be good. That’s, er… that’s it, right? Four games. Spend £300 on a console that costs £70 more than the competition for the ability to play… four exclusive games, none of which are like, killer, or anything? Cool, I… guess? I mean we live in an era where people will buy a £700 VR headset to play things that don’t really qualify as games so hey, I shouldn’t be surprised or dumbfounded.

If you haven’t bought either, buy a PC; they cost a little bit more but have 200,000% more games on them. Unless you want to play Halo. In which case… buy a PC and learn to like another shooter, like Battlefield or Overwatch or Call of Duty or Unreal Tournament or Doom or Quake. 😛

Okay, I’m done now. 😛