Windoze 10.

I remember when Windows 10 was announced. The first thing I posted on Facebook after the announcement was this:

Windows 10.
Hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

I actually didn’t understand what the hell they were thinking when they came up with the name. It’s almost like they went “Ahhhhh, we should call it Windows 9, but that’s what they’re EXPECTING us to do, so let’s do one more and call it Windows 10 YEAAAAAH!” 😛

A somewhat believable explanation is that a lot of software developers actually do something like this:

if( windowsVersion.startsWith("Windows 9") )
{
    // Do stuff for Windows 95/98
}
else
{
    // Do stuff for Windows 2000 or above
}

But if this is true, it’s stupid, completely the fault of software devs and Microsoft shouldn’t be working around it. If you wanna know what version of Windows the user’s running, you should be using the kernel version number. Windows 95 was called “95” because it was released in 1995, durrr. Its version number was 4.0, not 95. Windows 7’s version number is actually 6.1 and Windows 8 is 6.2. Although that explanation makes sense, it’s still not believable.

Anyway, whatever the reason, it’s Windows 10, not 9. But, it also made me make a joke about how they actually stopped developing Windows 9 and went straight to Windows 10. Y’see, every other version of Windows is shite, so if they did that, they’d be bypassing a good version of Windows and skipping to the next crap version. Look:

Windows 95 = Good
Windows 98 = Shite
Windows 2000 = Good
Windows ME = Shite
Windows XP = Good
Windows Vista = Shite
Windows 7 = Good
Windows 8 = Shite
Windows 9 = Would’ve been good
Windows 10 = Shite?

Makes sense, right? 😛

Not sure if that’s actually the case, though.

A “Technical Preview” of Windows 10 has been available for some time now. I installed it as a secondary OS very soon after release, but I didn’t really want to commit to using it and only played with it for about half an hour. Now, though, I’ve been using it since my major upgrade (Pwnage-O-Matic V6; new motherboard, CPU and SSD!! 😉 ).

It’s basically an alpha. Stuff can break, and there’s a high chance stuff can change drastically between builds. You also get asked questions very occasionally while using it, like “how hard was it to find the setting you were looking for?” Oh, and I’m pretty sure nearly everything I do is being monitored. 😛 There’s also a dedicated app for getting news about Windows 10, and another app for leaving feedback or bug reports. Most of the feedback people give is completely useless, and I don’t think the rest is really looked at. Maybe glanced at from time to time. 😛

So what’s it like? Pretty decent, actually! Despite being an alpha, it runs pretty smooth and doesn’t crash as much as I was expecting. In fact, I’ve had the most BSoDs from trying to render in DAZ Studio, and I’m not sure if Windows was at fault.

Since my new motherboard is UEFI-compatible, after a lot of poking around and an unlikely hero (my point-and-shoot video camera formatted to FAT and connected via USB was the ONLY method I had short of wiping my external hard drive :P), I figured out how to boot and install Windows 10 in UEFI mode. Let me just say HOLY MOTHER OF GOD it boots like friggin’ LIGHTNING. Seriously, I started the computer and pressed the power button on my monitor. By the time my monitor turned on, Windows had ALREADY booted and was ready to go. In no more than 15 seconds. I had to reboot and test it again to make sure I hadn’t accidentally booted out of sleep mode!

Of course, it isn’t that much of a big deal. Mac OS has been UEFI-compatible for God-knows how long, and Windows already had it in Windows 8. It’s just mind-blowing when you experience it for the first time. 😛

Right, yes, Windows 10, the user-facing stuff. 😛 The most dramatic difference is the Start menu. Yes, START MENU. IT HAS ONE

START IS HEEAH!

What they’ve done is taken the Metro interface that doesn’t work on PCs and the Windows 7 Start menu that doesn’t work on tablets and made them have a baby. The left side is pretty much automatic and can’t really be customized, all you can do is remove items you don’t want there. The right side is totally customizable and you can have anything you want. The most recent build lets you split your stuff into sections, so as you can see in that screenie, I have a “General” section for stuff I wanna see or get to quickly, and a “Drives” section for quick, direct access to my drives. Further down (you can scroll) I also have “Tools” and “Windows Store Games”, the latter being almost completely empty save for Asphalt 9. Which I don’t really play because the car handling is laughable and The Crew and Carmageddon Reincarnation are better. 😛

I think it’s really awesome. Unlike the huge, horrendous Start Screen, the new Start menu doesn’t completely break my focus when I open it. With the Start Screen it was like “WHAAAAA HUGE FULLSCREEN MENU WHAT’S GOING ON I JUST WANTED NOTEPAD”

It’s currently quite fragile though… 😛

Lol Start Menu

You CAN make it go fullscreen, but lol no thanks:

Ew no be smaller plz

There’s not enough to add to it to make me want it any bigger. 😛

Let’s ‘ave a look at File Explorer next…

File Explorer

It’s the same as Win7. 😛 Well, actually… no, that’s untrue. It’s the same as Win8. Because ribbon. Hrrrrrhh. :S THANKFULLY, it’s not commonly used unless you’re unfamiliar with keyboard shortcuts, and can be hidden with that small arrow next to the help button in the top right. The only useful commands in there are under the View tab; hiding/showing filename extensions and hidden files, and hiding/showing files. That’s… pretty much it, because you can get everything else through the context menu. 😛 Files are still sent straight to the recycle bin with a press of Del, but I actually like that now. Getting a confirmation dialog in Windows 7 for a non-volatile delete operation was really starting to grate. Shift-Del still brings up a confirmation, which is good.

The ONE thing that’s REALLY annoying me is that annoying friggin’ “Quick access” link in the sidebar. I just want it to go die in a fire.

GO DIE QUICK ACCESS

It gives you a random jumble of files and folders you recently accessed, all mashed in with any files or folders you explicitly add to quick access. I don’t understand how this is useful to anyone at all. If you constantly access a specific Word or Excel or whatever file, surely the most natural way to open it is to open Word/Excel/whatever and select it from your recent files list in that program? That would be just as fast as going into Explorer and looking for it in quick access. It’s like a dumb fusion of two completely unrelated menus, Favourites and Recent Files. It actually replaced Favourites in build 9926. Favourites was the same thing, but it only contained what you wanted in there, and could be arranged in whatever order you wanted. So why the hell did they remove it?! 😦 << I wanted an angry smiley but WordPress doesn’t have one because it SUCKS. 😛

Oh, and OneDrive as well. I want that to piss off but you can’t get rid of it either. >.<

What else… ah yes, they have improved snapping tools now. You know that in Windows 7 and 8 you can grab a window and push it against the side of the screen to make it “snap” to that side of the screen? Windows 10 expands on that and lets you snap to a corner now, and if you have two monitors, you can snap to the inside of a screen without needing to use WinKey-Right or WinKey-Left, WOOT! 😀 Also, when you snap, you get a display on the other half of the screen, which easily lets you choose another window to snap to the other side, which is pretty neat:

Snappy Snappy!

It feels like an OS designed for PCs, but with the new Microsoft style. It doesn’t feel confused any more. Like, “Desktop” is no longer an app, for example. There’s no annoying bar that appears at the side of the screen when you hover there for a sec. You close apps and windows by clicking their X buttons, not by dragging them to the bottom right of the screen. You shutdown, restart or sleep by pressing the power button on the start menu, not by going into Settings. It’s… nice. 😀

Although speaking of Settings, that’s one part of Windows 10 that still feels confused. Control Panel still exists and can do pretty much everything you want it to do, but there’s a Settings app which does… almost as much, and is Windows’ “preferred” way of doing things. As in, when you click the Network icon in the taskbar, it launches the Network section of Settings instead of going to Network and Sharing Centre in Control Panel. It’s been improved in the most recent build, but I still want to use Control Panel for everything.

Other niggles… well, unfortunately, the All Programs list… sorry, all APPS list in the Start menu is pretty horrible now, Windows comes with pre-installed bloatware apps, and apps still exist. 😛 But since apps act almost the same as normal programs, I’ve gotten used to them (not like I use them much at all), and I have all the programs I commonly use on the desktop. If a program I want isn’t on the desktop, I just use the search bar, so I never need to use the all apps list. 🙂

If you’re wondering about Cortana, I haven’t been able to try it out because:

Like I Care!

Not sure why it’s not available in the UK but I don’t care. 😛

So yeah, I quite like Windows 10 in the state it’s in right now, well, apart from the looming possibility of a nasty crash. 😛 As for the pricing, well, it’s actually going to be a free upgrade for all Windows 7 and Windows 8 users. Yep. 🙂 Kinda concerns me about why it’s free, though. Maybe people’ve been pressuring them about how Mac OS X users get free major upgrades, but y’know, you have to get something when you pay about twice as much than the computer’s worth. 😛 I guess we’ll find out in due time if Microsoft have some sort of smartass proviso up their sleeve. 😛

Unlike the Windows 8 Consumer Preview, I will link the Windows 10 Technical Preview here:

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-gb/windows/preview-iso

If you know what you’re doing, have your important data backed up, don’t mind large, somewhat frequent updates and you’re interested in trying Windows 10 yourself and watching it evolve, I’d definitely recommend giving it a spin. 🙂  Probably not a good idea installing it on a family computer or something, though. 😛

I think that’s all. Lemme know if there’s something I haven’t covered that you’re interested in. 😀 See yaz! 🙂

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A message for you, Microsoft. Re: Windows oO.

Microsoft.
Hi.

I recently heard about the release of the Windows 8 Consumer Preview. At first, I looked at the screenshots of it and almost mistook it for the Windows Phone 7 OS, even though it’s supposed to be an operating system that you can install on ANY COMPUTER, including this thing I have called a “desktop PC” which doesn’t have a touch screen and never will. Still, I was eager to try Win8, since I love Win7. I couldn’t find a general feedback button in Windows 8 that I could use, which is strange since I know you people LOVE FEEDBACK SO MUCH AND CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT THE END USER THINKS. So instead, I have detailed my experiences here for you to peruse.

The Windows 8 download was painless, and setting up my flash drive was easy. However, I did notice that you still can’t write properly. Backing my files up to “another ‘save’ location” was especially difficult to understand since I am sure I set Windows 7’s language to English, not Retard. “Move or copy your files to a safe location before you continue” is the grammar I would expect from one of the richest companies in the world.

The Windows 8 installer was easy to use since it is exactly the same as it has been since Windows Vista. When installation had finished, I noticed that there was a 10 second countdown before the computer restarted, and a button to make it restart immediately. I found that quite funny, since the timer is completely pointless in every way. One possible solution is to tell your programmers to not be a complete set of fools. Remove the timer, and instead make the computer restart immediately when the installation has finished. Would have been less programming to do. Durrr.

Then, finally, the big moment. After inputting my computer’s name and choosing a theme from a range of extraordinarily boring shades of colour, I was asked to choose a wireless network. However, I am sane, and use this thing called a “wire” to connect my computer to the Internet, because a “wire” gives more bandwidth and less latency. It is also more stable, more secure, and you can’t lose signal randomly or get interference from a microwave or something. Because Windows didn’t give me an option to choose a WIRED network, I decided to skip this step. It turned out, funnily enough, Windows had already connected to the Internet through the wire, yet still asked me to choose a wireless access point. Almost as if Win8 did not expect me to use a wire. I found that quite… odd. This IS an operating system for PC, right?

I then, on the next page, noticed a sign-in box. I believe the words that escaped my mouth at that moment were “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, I NEED TO SIGN INTO AN ONLINE ACCOUNT JUST TO USE MY COMPUTER?!” Thankfully, I found that you could create a local profile, because like, who would ever want to make an online profile which lets you keep your Start menu settings but allows others to access all your documents and pictures if they happen to gain access to your account? And who would want to buy things from an “App Store” when using Windows? And who actually wants to put their personal data on a server owned by a group of people they don’t even know, anyway? It’s such a stupid idea, isn’t it? Even so, I still made an online profile just to find out what all these GREAT NEW FEATURES were like.

Eventually, I made it to the Start… SCREEN. Being a Windows user for many years, I found it quite shocking when I suddenly had no idea how to use Windows at all, and ended up checking to see if my brain was still attached. It took me a few moments to realise that I was still using a desktop PC, and almost had to stop myself from smearing fingerprints over my fairly new, non-touch screen monitor. After a short while of taking in this horrendous interface that looked like it took 3 minutes to design, and while trying to make myself believe that this was still Windows, I managed to see the Desktop icon. I touched… sorry, CLICKED on it, and it brought me to my desktop. Wonderful. However, I’m not sure if any of your developers have noticed this, but I believe they have accidentally amputated the bottom left corner of Windows. I reached for the Start button, but it wasn’t there. Things went downhill rather quickly from here.

I have no Start button, but when I hover over where it is supposed to be, I see a little image of the Start Screen. I click it… and I’m back to this horrible UI. It’s confusing enough already, and I don’t even want to think what it would be like with any more squares on there. In fact, I already know, because I went to the “App Store” and chose to browse all “apps”. It was like I was having some sort of nightmare about shitty interfaces.
It took me a while to figure out you could right click in an empty space and access even more “apps”… no, sorry, every time I say the word “app”, it reminds me of Apple and hence makes me feel sick. So why don’t we call them “programs”, eh? Because you’re not Apple, this isn’t a dedicated mobile OS, and you’ve been calling them “programs” since at least Windows 95.

Anyway, continuing on – it took me a while to figure out you could right click and access even more programs… all of them displayed as bland squares and uncategorised. So instead of going through that, I went back to my desktop and clicked Start, wanting to open Computer. “Oh damn, wait…” The Start Screen opens. OH GOD DAMN I’M FORCED TO USE THIS.

I then came to a realisation. I believe you had employed Xzibit and were watching Inception on repeat while developing this OS. Desktop is now just a program, but I can have several programs running inside Desktop, as well as several programs running outside of Desktop. So I can have programs running in my program.


This screenshot demonstrates the TOTAL GENIUS of running two completely different versions of the same kind of program in two completely different types of interface – IE on the right, and IE on the left side of the Desktop, near MiniXzibit. And by “TOTAL GENIUS” I actually mean “THIS MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE AT ALL WGHAGT THE HFICK

At this point, I was becoming very frustrated and confused. I found out you could grab the top of your current window… er… panel… window? Is it a window? Okay, for clarity, let us call the windows in Desktop “windows (not the operating system)”, and the windows in the Start screen “pieces of shit”. So anyway, I discovered you could grab the top of one of the pieces of shit and drag it around for some unknown reason. You could also pin the piece of shit to the left or right sides of the screen, but it was like a really stupid version of pinning windows (not the operating system) to the sides of the screen in Desktop (not the start screen). I couldn’t find a use for it and assumed it was just a feature for dumbasses who want to look intelligent or something. OO LOOK I CAN “MULTYTASK” FFS go home mobile fags

My sanity was runihg short and I was getting alittle biut less inteligernt as evbery moment passed. I decidsed to delete a screenshot I jst took, since I had alratady copied it to my exst.. eckstern… er… outer brick drive to upload l8r. When I pressed “DEL”, HOLY SHIT THE FILE DISAPPEARED STRAIGHT AWAY. This is dum. Wat if I accidentally pressed da DEL key on, lyk, a file dat waz pritty emportant? Like say PAGEFILE.SYS? Or the SOURCE CODE FOLDER for ULSG V13? CONFIRM A FILE DELETE OPERATION LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE DONE FFS! You’re not supposed to be turning into Mac OSX! In fact no, that’s quite unfair to Apple. To delete something on a Mac, you need to press two keys at the same time, CMD + Backspace, so it’s pretty difficult to accidentally delete something!

Then, I went to Recycle Bin to empty it and fasjdkpfgovuoerivgrogurvgbiqwegfbviwervareqwtrbrtbnesrtyg

Just to try and reassure myself that you hadn’t totally lost all your brain cells, I then opened Computer using a shortcut I placed on Desktop earlier like a normal person, and ladfuwyaqfcvlieewcqaweergvaqakhgfsrfgvergbvretgbvt

THE RIBBON. Microsoft, YOU KNOW 98% of people hate that thing… so WHY IS IT NOW PLASTERED ALL OVER EXPLORER?! I almost had to run to the toilet and puke.

I eventually had a lot of pieces of shit open, and wondered how I could close them. It took me about 5 minutes to figure it out. Closing a piece of shit by dragging it to the bottom right corner of the screen – how is that in any way natural? HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA, how about you make it so we can hover over the top right corner AND CLICK A BIG X BUTTON?! Windows has been like this SINCE THE START – why does it need to change?! Oh wait, you haven’t changed it… wait you have OMFG it’s like you’ve made an OS in an OS AND IT’S CONFUSING AS HELL!

I’d seen enough; the chances of me upgrading to this gayness had already hit 0%. I wanted to get out of this not operating correctly system as soon as possible. SADLY, I discovered a brand new problem! I hovered over that tiny little square in the bottom right which is apparently supposed to mean something, and the computer COMPLETELY LOCKED UP. Since I somehow managed to burn a cable that powered my PC case’s power button a long time ago and hadn’t gotten it replaced yet, I had to open up the case to press the motherboard’s reset button OH WAIT WINDOZE STARTS RESPONDING. I get up, move the mouse to that square in the bottom righ SUDDEN LOCKUP. I pressed reset cause I couldn’t be arsed.

I booted Win8 again, continuing from where I left off – trying to figure out how to shut it down. I hovered over the Square of Death again, and nothing happened. Oh wait it did, I just had to WAIT a moment. It brought up a menu with some vaguely labelled options on there. I didn’t see “power” anywhere. I clicked the “Start” option, but it just closed that little menu.

I then discovered that clicking the Square of Death ZOOMS THE START SCREEN OUT. OH GOD NO, imagine this screen, only full of little squares and rectangles which represent programs.


I’d die.

I went through those badly labelled menu options and EVENTUALLY FOUND “POWER” UNDER “SETTINGS”. SETTINGS?! WHAT ATHE AFUCKAISBD WITHE PWOELAFUA ABUYTTON FOING THEREBY KA

Microsoft, well done. You have successfully created something WORSE than Vista. My suggestion is to fire all those responsible for this turd (as in literally FIRE, POW SPLAT GRAVEYARD) and go to hell without passing GO or collecting £200. Which is probably how much you’ll charge for this bab pile.

Sincerely,
MongMaster.
(Desktop PC User)

Everyone else, for your safety, I am NO WAY linking the place where you can test this not operating correctly system. Find it yourself if you’re so eager to cause yourself pain, or if you just like ignoring me for some really retarded reason.