Special Services Team

I am about to show you a screenshot. Please try not to die laughing. 😛


This is SST, or Super Sanitary Towel… sorry, Special Services Team. 😛 I started working on this when I was 13, but only sporadically. This was the time I was experimenting and playing around with The Games Factory to see what I could make, so I was working on about 10 other “games” at the same time. SST was pretty much the only notable one… uh, notable as in “notable compared to the rest of the junk I was creating”. 😛

It was planned to be a 4-player run ‘n’ gun in a very generic “terrorists are doing bad things go blow them up” setting. This “Special Services Team” was a highly-trained, super-elite group of four soldiers, of course consisting of three friends and myself. 😛 The aim is to run along a badly designed stage with almost no background, shoot at four types of enemy and get to the end before your sponge of a character suddenly takes one bullet/rocket too many. There were three types of weapon, the default pistol, the silent machine gun and the silent rocket launcher. The pistol was completely useless and very annoying because it makes a lot of noise. The machine gun ate ammo like crazy and there were about a million of them scattered around in the second stage, and the rocket launcher was only available in the 3rd stage and the boss.


From what I can tell from the last modified timestamps, SST’s development plodded along for two years total. I had no idea how to make games back then, and I reckon I believed that I had to make the game for single-player, then copy every frame and modify them to work for two players, and so on for three and four players. Although that’s what I was going to do back then, for some reason I created the first level for one, two and four player modes, and then just made a second, extremely bad level for single-player. Then, when I was nowhere near done with the original version, I created the “gold” version, which contained one more, slightly better level, and a boss. I also created an “Internet” version which was single-player only and ran on some kinda website I had way back then. Then I got bored and moved on. Daaaamn.

Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t let it go any further, cuz it plays as bad as it looks. 😛 It’s even worse in Multimedia Fusion 2, because the default “Platformer” movement has changed from the way it works in The Games Factory, which means you can’t aim up. This made the level before the boss impossible, and it also made the boss impossible.


Even though the game totally sucks, I decided to venture into this 12-year-old codebase and make it playable again, just for old-time’s sake. 🙂 It was kinda amazing, actually, realising how far I’ve come since then. I mean, when I started trying to fix up the broken movement, Multimedia Fusion very quickly started to get on my nerves. 😛 It’s a massive pain in the arse to use, and I have no idea how anyone could make anything serious with it. It has extremely half-arsed, barely-working object-orientation, and the amount of code duplication you have to do is completely insane. Back in The Games Factory days there wasn’t even any half-arsed object-orientation! I don’t even know how I managed to use it back then. Clearly I didn’t use it very well, because barely any of my objects had meaningful names (There was “Active object #” and “Counter #” EVERYWHERE), and some of the code was really dumb and simplistic, yet I clearly thought it was great (one of the event groups in the results screens was called “SUPER ADVANCED” 😛 ). Also, I have no idea how I was planning to make this a 4-player game, because the key bindings are hard-coded so that every player needs to use the keyboard, and most keyboards don’t register more than about 5 key presses at once. But hey! 😛

Anyway, the fixes went fairly well. Only took an evening to fix up the movement that made the game basically unplayable, but the side-effect of it is that it makes the game much easier. 😛 Originally you could only shoot in four directions, but you had to stand still to shoot up or down. You could also kinda “spray” your bullets in an arc by jumping while moving and firing. With the fixes, you can’t spray your weapons any more but you can shoot in 8 directions. This makes the boss ridiculously easy, so I increased its health, which… doesn’t make it any harder, to be honest, but whatever. 😛

You can grab the download here if you want to try it (~7.6MB). I removed the multiplayer options because they were crap and broken and only had one level, but hey, don’t worry, because it contains the original, very pointless and quite inaccurate readme, which you can access by pressing F1! Just noticed… for some reason, opening the Readme hits my firewall. Not sure why cuz the game doesn’t use the Internet. :/

And because I’m me, while I was fixing things up, I added a retarded Easter egg. If you can score 90,000 points before you reach the boss battle, you’ll hear it activate. Beat the boss, get to the bonus stage and you’ll hear a “remastered” soundtrack. 😛 If scoring 90k before the boss is too much effort or too difficult, then you can activate the secret like this: open the “Game” menu, select “Password”, type in “YES” and hit enter. You’ll get obvious confirmation and you’ll warp to the boss battle. Beat the boss and you can play the bonus stage with the “remastered” soundtrack. 🙂

If this is also too much effort then I made a video of me playing through the game. Hilariously, the video’s file size is around 21 times bigger than the actual game. 😛 If watching that is also too much effort, then goddamn it, here’s the sound file. 😛

Anyway, enjoy the crappiness that is SST! And my dumb Easter egg!



Raaaow, diddidyjiddily diddlyboodily badillybadilly bonus
Bibillyboobily babbilybabbilly bo, bonus stage
Yes, thisisis is is the bonus stage, and you have to get to the top
As quickly as you can otherwise the time will run out, and that would be bad
Cuz you’ll miss all the money along the way, and that’s worth
Points that’ll add up into the final score
Come on man climb that tower like a boss yes you can do it I know you can
Get that money as well you can get to the top and destroy those turrets and stuff
And do that other junk
Quick, grab all that cash, you can do it
No, you’re about to run out of time
And that’s the end of the bonu~s