My thoughts on time.

So, I was listening to Masterchef Synesthesia, when I thought of an illogical but logical way time could work in the future. The two have NO connection whatsoever, but this popped into my head nevertheless.

It’s written for the ULSG V14 Galactipedia, but I still have to share it here. 😀

Thyme
Thyme is a common herb, but even so, it is the most important organism in the universe, bar none. Formerly, this miracle herb was not shown much respect, but now, it is widely worshipped.

If you are a recently thawed cryo-freeze patient, you may not realise that thyme, the herb, actually controls the flow of what you call “time”. Hence, the correct name for “time” is actually “thyme”, but to avoid confusion, especially for beings from the past, the word “time” is still used to describe the flow of thyme.

You’re probably wondering how a small herb primarily used for cooking controls the flow of “time”. Well, thyme actually emits hypersonic waves, previously undiscovered by unenlightened scientists of the past. These waves cause all the particles within a very large area to become excited and fly through the previously misunderstood fourth dimension.

Areas of space may be outside the effective range of a sprig of thyme, and hence, can cause problems for space travel. To counteract this, all ships have thyme (the herb) in the engine bay. If a ship did not have this herb on board and entered a time blackspot, they would disappear from the present time until they entered the range of some hypersonic thyme waves in the past time. They would then be accelerated into the present time. This is known as “Thyme Lag”, which is the main thrower of the notorious “TwoParticlesOccupyOnePoint” Exception. The error handling code has improved in recent years, but it is still somewhat buggy.

Contrary to popular belief, eating a sprig of thyme will not pause time, make you live longer, or give you a time extension in Every Extend Extra. It does, however, give the snarfer immunity to Thyme Lag for about an hour.

Where the hell does this crap come from?! No, no, I’m not complaining, or anything. Just intrigued. Yes, intrigued by myself. 😀

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