Unfortunately, enter ME, Mr. MongMaster, who is both the master of mong, AND the king of bad luck. I once found a PS2 game in America – Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires. It was the first Empires game I’d ever heard of. I liked the idea of it, it was basically like a game of Risk… only not entirely luck-based. Plus, I thought it’d be really cool two-player, because you can play the full Empire mode with two players, and it had the potential to be a long-running game that unfolds depending on the player’s actions. So, I bought it.
UNFORTUNATELY, a few days later, I looked at the case again, and suddenly realised. "Oh… shit! This is an AMERICAN PS2 game, it won’t freakin’ work on a PAL console!" And, sure enough, when I got home and put it in my PS2… Red Screen of Death.
But now, the PS2 emulator, PCSX2, exists, and I can play it on that, right? Uh… no.
See, there’s this thing called a "Compatibility List". And if you’ll look at it, you’ll notice that EVERY SINGLE DYNASTY WARRIORS GAME EVER is marked as "Playable"… EXCEPT Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires… which gets a rating of "Ingame". Yep, it’s accurate – I can get through the title screens, the menus… even the engine-rendered cutscene plays properly. I choose my actions for the turn and invade a region, get into the game, and FLARRRAGHHHYAIASGdalsifraefaefgalesfjkhdsfghasdb27oesifair213fbghlreifgvrlaefblah. Graphics, big mess, sound slowdown, massive CPU usage and CRASH. It’s unbelievable how EVERY DW game works on that emu, APART from the one that Mr. MongMaster bought in America. And it’s also the one I most want to play. Even the NEWER, more ADVANCED Dynasty Warriors 6 works properly!
Also, I’ve also noticed a couple other things on that page of the compatibility list. Firstly… Drakengard and Drakengard 2. I own Drakengard 1 (it was… "unlikable", to put it nicely ), but I never got Drakengard 2. Funny how the version I have is "Ingame", while the one that I DON’T own is "Playable." Also, it says that Drakan: The Ancients’ Gates works fine. That’s the "U" version, though, and I’m pretty sure I have the "E" version. That’s not on the list, but guess what? It crashes as you enter the first town.
Oh yeah, and by the way, there are a bunch of games throughout the list I’ve wanted to try out. Guess what? They’re ALL marked as "Nothing", "Intro" or "Ingame". Un-frickin’-believable. D’ya understand why I hate luck-based stuff now? Cuz I HAVE no luck. (And the games are generally crap, anyway. )
So, to flip the bird at Lady Luck, I’ve thought of either getting a PS2 Modchip, or a SlideCard and the SwapMagic DVD’s. Edging heavily towards the SlideCard, because I don’t know how to solder, I won’t solder because knowing my luck I’ll screw something up, and I don’t even have the tools for soldering anyway. So, before I go ahead and get the SlideCard and get Lady Bitch to kiss my ass, I was gonna ask if anyone else had one of these things? Do they work, or do they cause a cataclysmic explosion? The main thing’s first, though – I’ve somehow gotta get my PS2 up here.
Yeah, I’m looking for games because I’m bored. No-one’ll ever play Borderlands again because everyone’s playing Starcraft and (even though they don’t know it) they take Blizzard Entertainment as their god. There’s nothing on the 360 that I wanna play. MGS: Peace Walker’s finally found its "Japanese Difficulty Cliff" and gone psycho – most of the endgame boss missions are impossible unless you’re in the same place at the same time with a friend with a PSP that has the same game as you do (seriously, I emptied about 20 RPGs into Peace Walker Type II and it caused 5% damage). I overcame Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce’s Japanese Difficulty Cliff and completed it because I’m so awesome at DW.
My DS emulator has no more uncompleted games, apart from Poké-Way-Too-Tedious-Brain-Numbingly-Boring-And-Repetitive Soul-I-Don’t-Know-WTF-To-Do-Or-Where-To-Go-Next-Silver, and Digimon World DS which hit its Japanese Difficulty Cliff and unleashed a monster that can one-hit-KO my entire team of Level 50s with one attack. In fact, ALL of my emulators have no games I want to play on them.
Stargunner disappointed me by showing me a bug which cost me 800,000 points. Reflexive are probably gonna be gone forever quite soon, so I can’t download anything from them. RakeInGrass don’t seem to realise that they’ve only ever made one good game, Jets ‘n’ Guns (seriously, the quality gap between that and the rest of their games is gigantic) and they don’t seem to realise that people have been begging for a sequel and even brainstorming ideas for it in the forums for quite a long time.
I’ve also been in a CBA mood with Dragon Storm. And ULSG. And Dragon Tail. Pretty much everything. Well… apart from going to Sainsbury’s and buying Caramel and IRN-BRU. I also started a scene in DAZ Studio but stopped halfway for some reason – it was probably too difficult to decide on a render angle or an environment. But I’ll find something to do soon. And I’ll pick up Dragon Storm as soon as this irritating CBA phase passes.