O-ho-ho-kay, right, I’ve completely lost my temper with the bots in Super Street Fighter IV.

I’ve been playing arcade mode ON NORMAL (big note, NORMAL) as Akuma, and throughout the course of the game, I have had five, count ’em, FIVE PERFECTS. I have been kicking SERIOUS ass with him, and my score hit almost 600,000 before the second bonus stage, where, unfortunately, I came across Sagat. Normally, I’d be okay with that, but the bots are cheap and gay and when they use Sagat, they CONSTANTLY SPAM TIGER SHOTS faster than I can counter them by either jumping over them or Hadoken-ing back. I’d block them, but, ah… that’s not getting me anywhere, is it? I can’t move forward and block. Tongue out So, I lost my hard-earned score because of a gay bot. Great.

That’s not REALLY what annoyed me, though. After beating him, the opponents that came AFTER him were easy. See what I mean? Capcom have THE MOST RETARDED difficulty curves in the history of mankind. It’s NORMAL MODE!! IT SHOULD BE NORMAL ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!

But never mind, even THAT’S not what REALLY irritated me. Tongue out Eventually… I got to the rival battle, against Ryu. And holy shit. I very, VERY nearly threw my controller at the screen. No kidding.

Now, when Ryu hits you first (which he probably will), he’ll say "I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO WIN!!", which I thought was a nice addition, but, uh, the game actually means that. No matter WHAT you do, the bot knows, and counters it. You try to jump into a combo, the bot’ll launch a Shoryuken. You launch a SINGLE Hadoken, the bot’ll start a Hadoken SPAM. All other attacks, the bot’ll IMMEDIATELY block them and counter in THE most perfect way possible. And I’m not joking about the IMMEDIATE block. Ryu was stood up RIGHT in front of me, and I was crouched down, blocking, and the bot seemed to be thinking of what to do. I went for a LIGHT kick, which is EXTREMELY fast. The bot IMMEDIATELY crouched, blocked it, and countered IMMEDIATELY afterwards with a Shoryuken. I have no idea how it knew… oh wait, yeah, it
has access to your controller every single frame. Sarcastic In the event that you manage to hit the bot, the bot will FLIP OUT, and become EVEN

The bot uses its perfect timing and knowledge of your controller state to full advantage. I went for a maximum power Ultra, WHILE THE BOT WAS RECOILING FROM AN ATTACK I JUST LANDED. Now, this ultra CAN’T BE BLOCKED, and the attack was in such close proximity that, if it’d have been a human opponent, it would’ve been guaranteed to hit. In fact, I was SO confident it WOULD hit, I said "Bye bye!" and put my controller down. UNBELIEVABLY, the bot immediately stops recoiling, and the very FRAME before my attack hits and would have resulted in me winning the match, INSTANT SHORYUKEN, followed by a METSU HADOKEN, which I block, but he still gets the win because of chipping damage. The only consolation I get is to see a "C" for CHEAP appear under the bot’s status, but who cares? It was still a friggin’ win… >.>

That was about when I nearly threw my controller at the screen, but then I realised that it wasn’t worth it, so I just turned off the Xbox. Tongue out The difficulty was on NORMAL, for God’s sake… not "Starts normal then gets IMPOSSIBLE IMMA RAPE YOU IN THE ASS SIDEWAYS LOLOL!" Sarcastic

I’d try it on easy, but guess what, ladies and gentlemen? Easy is TOO EASY!! GAAARGH! Angry AND you don’t get any achievements when playing below normal. *sigh* Capcom, PLEASE try to understand – there are such things as NOVICE PLAYERS… Tongue out

Yeah, so that’s my rant on SSFIV’s impossibly gay bots and difficulty curves over and done with. If you were skipping the rant because you don’t give a crap, you can start reading from here!

Yeah, see, that got your attention, didn’t it? Wink

D’ya know what Street Fighter needs? A ROLLING START. Yeah, one of THESE. Open-mouthed I REALLY want to go to an arcade, find Daytona USA, and play it, now that I’ve discovered it. It looks awesome. Open-mouthed Or, I could just get a Sega Model 2 emulator and play it. Open-mouthed I just wish modern games were all happy and bright and memorable like they were back then. Smile

Anyhoo. Open-mouthed

I’ve also tried out a few new (to me Tongue out) games while I’ve been AFB (away from blog Wink). I tried out God Hand, which Aaron recommended, and I found it pretty awesome. Open-mouthed A little annoying at times, and I still don’t understand a few things about it (WTF DOES LEVEL DO?! Tongue out), but the cheesiness MORE than made up for that. Floating fruit which gives you health, girls have a grab attack where they slap you about 15 times within two seconds, and best of all, there’s a RANDOM AUDIENCE. HELL YES! I love those! Open-mouthed The audience CHEERS when you level up, if you dodge a load of attacks in quick succession, the crowd goes wild, and if anyone gets hit in the balls (most commonly when you use the Ball Buster special attack), there’s a "DING!!" sound, and the audience starts laughing! Open-mouthed IT’S EPIC!! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed But yeah, it is a good game. Open-mouthed

Also for PS2, there’s Monster Rancher 4. Before getting MR4, I remembered having Monster Rancher 2 for the PS1 when I was younger, so I tried that out first. It wasn’t BAD, but… meh. It wasn’t particularly amazing, either. There wasn’t really much to it. It was what I like to call a "luck-based mission", the game almost SOLELY relied on luck. Hit percentages, your monster had a random chance of failing when doing a drill, and so on. I like the ability to get monsters by ripping data from ANY disc, but that, again, was a luck-based mission. Tongue out I tried three different discs, and I got the same monster EVERY TIME. Tongue out

Monster Rancher 4 is better, though. You set your monster on a task for the week, and they WILL complete it, but their performance depends on the monster’s focus, hunger and fatigue, so it’s not REALLY luck-based. Also, the battle system is a little simpler and more interesting (yet still pretty luck-based, especially Counters Tongue out), there’s a more meaningful story (which actually isn’t awful! Tongue out), different monsters, and RIDICULOUSLY easy E-rank battles. Saying that… the D-rank battles are too easy, as well! Tongue out It does start to get difficult when you hit B-class. I don’t even think I want to TRY S-class. Tongue out

Only problem is… heh… um… I can’t get new monsters from a disc, because PCSX2 doesn’t really support disc-switching. Tongue out So, I have to rely on my luck in Adventures (another new feature, which is quite cool) to find me a "Saucer Stone", which will contain a monster. I can then generate that monster without needing a CD. Open-mouthed Also, since Saucer Stones are pretty rare, I need to COMBINE monsters to create new ones. And that’s just annoying. Tongue out But nevertheless, it’s still a fun game, although I couldn’t play it for several hours straight. Tongue out Which is good, so then I don’t complete it retardedly fast. Open-mouthed

Anyway, I’ll probably blog about a few more games I’ve tried later on. Smile Moving on…

Ah, yes, student accommodation is SORTEHD. Open-mouthed It’s expensive, and the only reason I can afford it is because I don’t drink alcomahol, but I don’t care, because it’s my OWN kitchen, my OWN ‘net connection, and it’s about three minutes from uni, and two minutes from Sainsbury’s. Open-mouthed Oh, and the shower isn’t just bolted to a wall in the bathroom, it’s got its own cubicle. Open-mouthed It should be pretty awesome next year. Smile

What else… ah yes, I’ve picked up Dragon Tail. Again. Tongue out I WILL get this finished eventually, it’s just… the length of the story is actually ridiculous. I have to go through every chapter, adding extras and highlighting things I’m happy with, things I don’t want to change, things that could be written better… then I’ve gotta keep an eye out for plotholes that may have popped up, mistakes I’ve made, etc. etc. I’m predicting that the final word count will be around a quarter of a million words. Oh yeah. Open-mouthed Still don’t have a clue what I’m gonna do with it after I’m done. Tongue out

I’m also going to pick up ULSG at some point. I’ve coded it so badly, and it’s been putting me off. Building a basic game and then adding major features such as unlockable ships near the END of development is a BAD idea. Tongue out Trust me on that one. Wink But yeah, I’ve still gotta get ideas together for Challenges – I have 8 ideas, I need 13. Tongue out Anyone got any ideas? Open-mouthed

Right, that’s enough typing for one day, methinks. Open-mouthed I’ll see y’all later! Smile

3 thoughts on “I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO WIN!!

  1. Got the game myself could,nt even get passed seth on v easy my fighter of choice tho Big Bad Bison kicks like a mule[ until seth] who made me look like an a** never laid a hand on me couda bina contenda?

  2. Ah, Seth is one of the cheapest final bosses EVER. The first time I met him, it took me about… 20 attempts to beat him. >.<I should try using Bison at some point. NIGHTMARE BOOSTER!! 😀

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