"You have not bought…"
Actually, in a formal letter, that should be "purchased", dickwads.
"…a TV licence or told us that you do not watch live television. This means that if you’re watching or recording television on any device as it’s being shown on TV, you’re breaking the law."
Well, that’s OK, because I’M NOT FUCKING WATCHING LIVE TV! I have BETTER things to do than watch the shitty programs that are broadcast on the main channels nowadays…
"This includes TV’s, laptops, computers…"
Just gonna stop you there. What did you say earlier? "On any device". I THINK I KNOW WHAT ANY DEVICE IS, you don’t need to fuckin’ LIST them, I’m not STUPID!
"This case has now been passed on for further investigation. An Enquiry Officer has been scheduled…"
Blah blah blah, blah blah. STFU. By the way… YOU DON’T KNOW JACK ALL about who has a TV license! Because… EVERYONE got one of these, EVEN PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT ONE WHEN THEY MOVED IN! "We know this, we know that"… it’s bullcrap!
Go ahead, send your friggin’ "Enquiry Officers". They won’t even get onto the premises, because THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED! The only people allowed into Storthes are residents, visitors and staff. Do your enquiry officers fall nto any of those categories? NO! Because THEY are "PRICKS", not residents, visitors or staff. And even if they WERE allowed onto the premises… they wouldn’t get past our door… because WE say who comes in and stays out. Friggin’ twatbags… I can’t STAND them!
Grr… okay, rant over! Sorry, but I don’t particularly LIKE letters or people that try to threaten and scare me into doing something. Especially old people in suits.