I’ve just finished Crysis, and now I’m screwing about it.

Yup, I completed Crysis. Yes, I am screwing about it. It’s a good game, it’s quite challenging, it’s got nice gameplay, a pretty good story, alright characters and unbelievable graphics, I thought I’d plugged my 360 into my PC by mistake. I’m surprised my little 8800GT could cope quite well with the settings I asked for – one setting on low, four (one of them shaders, which are graphics card killers) on medium and the rest on high (nothing on very high Sad), and the card managed around 70FPS maximum, dropping to 10 FPS at one point, but getting an average of around 30-35 FPS. Not too bad. Smile I just need a GTX295 or Radeon 4870X2, one of those will cause epic amounts of KICKASS. Open-mouthed

Now you ask: "Why are you screwing about Crysis?"

Well… the only thing the game does NOT have is a FECKING GOOD ENDING! And last time I checked, a good ending is sort of KEY to wrap up an awesome experience! Authors wouldn’t put a shit ending in their books (Unless they’re JK Rowling, YOU SHOULD HAVE FOCKING KILLED HARRY DICKHEAD, YOU DUMBASS!) so why do game developers put shit endings in their games?! They must’ve spent millions on graphics, coding and takeaways… and in the process, they completely forgot that a game is supposed to end! It’s like gathering the best ingredients from around the world to make a sandwich, like getting freshly baked bread and free range chicken or something… and then when you’ve put the sarnie all together and it’s absolutely perfect… you stick mayonnaise on it. That’s the epitome of FAIL, and Crysis JUST DID IT.

I know there’s a sequel to Crysis, but Halo 2 had a sequel, as well, and the ending to Halo 2 was SHIT, too. Both Halo 2 and Crysis make you think that you’re gonna enter another final mission, and you’re expecting a bigass huge battle at the end… and then all of a sudden, you see the credits screen! GAHD DAMNIT! And then, when you get the sequel, the most annoying thing EVAR is when the sequel’s ending SUCKS!! Halo 3’s wasn’t too bad… but not that good, either. Still yet to see Crysis’ sequels’ ending. (WOW, that was confusing to say. Tongue out)

Call of Duty 4 is the only FPS… actually, it’s probably one of the only GAMES I’ve played that actually has an awesome ending, because it makes you feel like "OH F**K YES, I JUST LAST-STAND-KILLED A LUNATIC AND SAVED THE WORLD, I RULE!" And THEN, there’s a bonus mission! AWESOME! Open-mouthed

Anyone out there ever played a game other than CoD4 that has a truly good ending? Or does everyone kinda agree that 98% of game endings suck hard and make you feel the game was worth half of what you paid for it? Smile

*sigh* EVE Online… please, just give up.

Seriously… bolting on expansion after expansion is not going to make the game any better, if anything, it’s going to make it WORSE!

Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry to announce this and follow it up with a huge paragraph saying how shit the game is, but that’s just what I do. Tongue out EVE Online is approaching nearly as many expansion packs as Final Fantasy has sequels, and Final Fantasy is um… well… BETTER. This is their ELEVENTH expansion, so that kinda qualifies EVE to be called "EVE Online XII". Final Fantasy XIII is coming out soon… and that’s been going on for centuries. EVE has been going on for like… 12 years, which shows that they’re trying to get an expansion out exactly once every year, which means that they’re following strict deadlines, which means that the new content is gonna suck. It’s a basic rule of the games industry, the lower the amount of time spent on a game, the more it’s gonna suck donkey balls. A "good" amount of time is 2-4 years. Any less than that sucks, while any more than that is lollable and pointless. (SPORE. Tongue out Not really worth the god-knows-how-many year wait…)

But, of course, I can recommend EVE Online to a certain audience! If your life is WAY TOO EXCITING and you need to chill out A LOT, AND you have money and life you want to throw away, then EVE Online is THE game for you. Don’t worry, in this new expansion, it’s EVEN HARDER to get started, because you start with about 50k skill points, not 800k! This "helps new players decide on their own destiny". BULL SHIT! If you start with less skill points, it’s going to take EVEN LONGER to get to a point where you can begin to start playing the game, and time costs money in EVE! Genius (but damned evil) plan on their part, get new players to spend even more money JUST to get to play the game.
And they keep blabbing on about how there are hundreds of things to do, when the horrible reality is… there are ONLY THREE THINGS TO DO! 1: Mine minerals, which is FECKING BORING, you might as well just buy a screensaver, because the maximum amount of human interaction is about once every five minutes… 2: Do missions, which are FECKING BORING, because chances are you WILL run into the same mission twice (or more) in the same day, and progressing to more exciting missions takes FOREVER… and 3: Go into low security space and blow up players, but that is IMPOSSIBLE, because when you’re new, 98% of players have BETTER EQUIPMENT THAN YOU. AND dying costs a ridiculous amount of money, AND it causes you to lose your ship AND all your weapons and modules… it’s like playing RuneScape in space!
The only way to try and progress in this game is to be bossed around by other players that you don’t even know in a corporation, but that’s not exactly exciting, because corporations do the same thing day in, day out anyway. If you’ve got friends who can help you out, that’s great, but it’s not like they can give you enough money to buy a good ship, because you need all the skills to use the ship, and skills cost time, and time costs REAL money. If you start the game together with friends, that’s cool, you can help each other with missions and mining, but you’ll still be bored… even if you have 100 friends who all start the game at the same time. It doesn’t matter how many people are in the corporation, everyone’s going to progress at the same rate… because everyone’s gonna be making the same amount of money…
The ONLY new features that entice me are the inclusion of Wormholes, which take you to new solar systems where you can mine rare minerals, BUT these wormholes WILL be ultra rare, and take you to low security space, where players with better equipment can own you easily. And you’ll be only able to mine the minerals with skills in a certain category, which you can only access when you’ve spent A LOT of time and money on the game.
The other one is an "epic mssion arc" which "starts from character creation". That’s great… because I’m (sort of) sure it will last some time and reward players with (okay) stuff. I think it’s the only part of the game that has the potential to be unique and have missions that aren’t the same. Then again, it’s probably STARTS at character creation, but isn’t ACCESSIBLE or POSSIBLE until you’ve advanced enough in the game. Now, if they were like World of Warcraft’s quests, and take quite some time to get boring, and it feels like you’re PROGRESSING when you’re doing the quests… then all would be good with playing EVE for a while. But, since endgame starts as soon as you finish the tutorial missions, and endgame is the worst part of any MMO, because it’s a waste of life and money and you’re not progressing towards any goal because there ARE no goals you can set yourself that are worthwhile… then technically, the worst part of EVE is all of it except for the first hour or so. At least the worst part of WoW was only after you’d hit Level 80…
Now, if only they could make a space MMO a bit like HAWX, where you actually have to use SKILLZ to win, instead of clicking buttons. That would be great, but you know… they have "technical limitations"?

I seriously want to make a currently unheard of "Action MMORPG" that is ACTUALLY GOOD, but I can’t, cuz I don’t have millions of pounds, I don’t have a team of 200 artists, programmers, writers and project managers, and I don’t have professional skillz in any of those fields myself. Tongue out Ah well, hopefully someone will beat me to it… cuz I like the idea of MMORPG’s very much. I just don’t like ANY of the current ones, cuz they’re all extremely boring.

Anyway, that’s all. Open-mouthed This blog post was courtesy of YouTube, showing me an ad for the new EVE Expansion. If there are any complaints, do please feel free to leave a comment, so I can laugh. Tongue out
See ya.


Oh yes, the game BAFTA’s have SO made my day. Open-mouthed


Most of the awards went to the right games.Open-mouthed I can’t comment on Super Mario Galaxy being awarded Best Game, as I’ve never played it. Same with Fable II, can’t comment, but that won Best Action/Adventure… the Artistic Achievement went to LittleBigPlanet, I want that game, it looks intriguing, but I don’t have a PS3, and I’m not about to buy a console for ONE game. Tongue out Boom Blox won Best Casual, never played it, but if it’s better than Bejeweled 3 or Castle Crashers, I’ll eat myself. Tongue out Gameplay Award went to Call of Duty 4, I completely agree with that… I’m ignoring Best Handheld Game, cuz I don’t like handheld consoles anymore… Left 4 Dead got Best Multiplayer, I can probably agree with that, although I’ve never played it… Dead Space got Best Musical Score, never played it, so I can’t comment… I’m ignoring Best Sports Game, because I don’t care about them… Ignoring Best Strategy, cuz almost all strategy games suck ass… Call of Duty 4 also won Best Story & Character, I can understand the story part but… not character. Spore got Technical Achievement, couldn’t agree more… and Dead Space won Best Use of Audio.

After reading through all that, I then noticed the thing that made my day. World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King, one of the nominations, was nowhere to be seen on any of the runners up lists in ANY category! Open-mouthed AND, if you’d just go on the website and look at the "Game Award of 2008"… out of the ten games that Game had chosen for the award… WoW:WotLK came LAST!! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed And that’s a PUBLIC vote!


YES! THE WORLD IS SANE AFTER ALLLL!!! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthedOpen-mouthed Thank God for that. I can’t stand the freaking game… I am SO glad I had that epiphany a few months ago, which snapped me out of the game, and after realising I’d wasted my life and money on the game, I completely flipped out by talking as much shit about the game as I possibly could. Open-mouthed

I’m warning you all, don’t play WoW, OR ELSE THIS GUY WILL GET YOU… AND if you continue to play it beyond maximum level, you WILL die a horrible, lonely death, having accomplished nothing but getting full epics on a stupid game. NEWSFLASH NERDS! NO-ONE CARES THAT YOU HAVE VIRTUAL ARMOUR THAT HAS A NAME IN PURPLE! Freaking snap out of it, you’re wasting your life, go and try to do something that people may LIKE you for, like, I dunno… be creative and get a hobby, create something to entertain others, try and make something of your life? Instead of playing the same game and doing the same stupid instance every freaking day?

Glad I got that off my chest. Open-mouthed Anyway, moving right along… what else is there to say…

Oh yes. "The other day I had a, 12-hour marathon… of Scooby Doo and Friends, on Cartoon Network… I watched all 12 hours. When it was finished, I said SHIT!"


HAHA, Tourettes Guy was the ultimate bomb. Open-mouthed Okay, NEXT!

Right, I think it’s the first time in… um… several MONTHS that I’ve even touched Dragon Tail. Yush, I am starting to update it again, after a loooong break. Open-mouthed Just going over it to improve chapters to get rid of rough edges like grammar problems and stuff… then after it’s done, well… I actually dunno what I’m gonna do with it. I guess I need to find SOME way to try and publish it, cuz that’s what I’ve been aiming for since about halfway through writing it, but it’s kinda difficult when you’re a newbie in the industry. Tongue out I’m not gonna publish the revised version here, I still don’t trust the community on Live Spaces. The absolute last thing I want is Dragon Tail to be plagiarised, I DID kinda put a lot of time into it. Tongue out

Anyhoo, I think that’s all. I’ll see yas laters. Open-mouthed

Hehehe, 4shared are idiots.

I just got this message from 4shared, just advertising their new plans:

"Super advantages on 4shared!
4shared always cares about its users, so to simplify navigation and to
make site usage easier for understanding and comprehension 4shared
designed one paid plan with lots of features that were earlier present
in diversifying and confusing propositions like Silver, Gold, Premium
Download, Additional Bandwidth, etc. From now everything is easy and
simple. We have Free and Premium plans. Just consider what advantages
are proposed with our Premium plan – 100Gb of Premium Traffic that can
be used on downloading of both your and other users files, instant
download – no waiting time before each download, ads-free download,
maximal file upload size – 2Gb, storage space – 100Gb – where else can
you find 100Gb of storage space? More than that you are able to resume
interrupted downloads using download managers; you receive direct links
– hot links for embedding the file to web page. Please consider features to find more information about our plans. Hope you will like our innovation and feel all advantages of the plan."

I like how they’re talking about "simplifying" 4shared and then they go and use ridiculously overcomplicated vocabulary to get their point across. "4shared
designed one paid plan with lots of features that were earlier present
in diversifying and confusing propositions like Silver, Gold, Premium
Download, Additional Bandwidth, etc." Lollums, I get what they’re saying, but it took me a while to decode it. Open-mouthed

That’s not what I’m interested in though. I’m more interested in this line: "where else can
you find 100Gb of storage space?" Um… on my hard drive? And on my external hard drive… and on nearly every other hard drive in my house… a total of… SEVEN places… in ONE HOUSE!


Yes, I am running out of things to talk about. Tongue out Oh no no no, wait, no I’m not. Open-mouthed

I got Tom Clancy’s H.A.W.X yesterday. And it was awesome. Open-mouthed Campaign was of an average length, but it was good, and quite a challenge on the hard difficulty level. Just need to finish Elite. Open-mouthed The action is freaking amazing, it’s insane when you have about 6 missiles all coming towards you, and you EVADE THEM ALL! Open-mouthed And there are enough challenges to keep anyone busy! Open-mouthed

Thing is… multiplayer is not as indepth. There’s ONE game mode – Team Deathmatch. That’s it. 4v4 Team Deathmatch, that feels like it’s been bolted on as an afterthought. There SHOULD be more modes coming in updates, I can tell that’s for sure, but if you have to pay for them in the Marketplace, that SUCKS!
It sucks they didn’t have a bit more imagination, anyway, there could’ve been loads of modes! I’ll give you a list, these are all off the top of my head:

Free For All, destroy everyone until time runs out, player with the highest score wins.
Escort Mission, one team has to escort a carrier to a safe zone while the other team have to destroy it, after a round, the teams switch sides. Whoever gets the carrier the furthest wins.
Capture The Drone, fly into the enemy drone and take it back to your base, first team to three captures wins.
Assault, destroy the enemy base within the time limit, after a round, the teams switch sides, the team that does it fastest wins.
Warzone, 16 or 32 player Team Deathmatch.

I could go on, but I won’t bore you with ideas anymore. COME ON, game developers! USE YOUR FREAKING IMAGINATION!!

Right, I’m off. I’ll sees yas laters. Smile