An epic moment in gaming…

Yes! And no, it’s not from a mainstream game that’s sold millions of copies worldwide… it’s from BEJEWELED TWIST. Below is the reason why I LOVE Indie games. Open-mouthed
 
 
PopCap… I actually love you. Open-mouthed¬†We are SO on the same wavelength! I could watch that a hundred times and not get bored of it! Open-mouthed
 
You see, Indie games can last forever, and are so much more fun, and sometimes full of random easter eggs like ^that^ one, which are hilarious. Open-mouthed¬†MAINSTEAM games don’t last forever, they can get boring relatively easily if¬†you only have one player playing it¬†(like Gears of War 2, that was more immersive rather than fun, and it really didn’t last long) and they can get really¬†frustrating. Indie games also don’t have¬†a goal, your main aim is to get better and beat your best score. Whereas mainstream games have goals, and once you’ve reached them, that’s it, there’s not much reason to play the game anymore.
 
Got any positions open, PopCap? I’d love to join you! Open-mouthed¬†No, really!¬†Just tell me what type of code I’ll need to learn, and I’ll get right on it. Open-mouthed
 
Right, I’m off. Indie games FTW. Open-mouthed
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ULSG Update!

Check it out:

The ACHIEVEMENT SYSTEM HAS LANDED! Open-mouthed It NEARLY works like ownage, just a few things to do to make it work perfectly. Then I need to add all 20 Achievements for the main game (Done 6 so far). THEN, I need to add Achievements for ALL the game modes! I got the whole list here:

MAIN GAME
I Activated Fruit Frenzy And All I Got Was This Stupid Achievement… (5)
Activate Fruit Frenzy for the first time.

Combonator (5)
Score a 25 Combo.

On The Way (10)
Earn an effective multiplier total of 10,000,000x in one game.

Not On My Shift (10)
Don’t let any enemies past you for at least 20 seconds of Quad Damage! (Only attainable after Level 15)

Ship Shreddin’ (10)
Take out 30 enemy ships in a single Rapid Fire powerup.

Can’t Touch This (10)
Pick up an Invincibility powerup while you already have Invincibility.

BANG, And The Dirt Is Still There! (10)
Collect Cillit Bang, then don’t destroy a single enemy while it’s active.

Choclit Overload (10)
Collect 75 Choclit Raindrops before Choclit Rain ends.

On The Edge (10)
Collect a Health Up powerup with flashing red health.

Shoop Da Whoop! (10)
Hit five enemies with the Choclit Ray at the same time.

Combolicious (10)
Score a 50 Combo.

BANZAI! (25)
Reach Level 28.

Combo Crazy (25)
Score a 100 Combo.

C-C-C-Combo Breaker! (25)
Lose a 200+ Combo.

Collateral Damage (25)
Destroy a Cruiser while Quad Damage and Nineteen are both active.

The Perfect Cleaning Combination (25)
Score a 100 Combo while Cillit Bang and Quad Damage are both active.

Combo Maniac (40)
Score a 200 Combo.

ULSG Master (50)
Earn one quadrillion points in a single game!

Combo Insanity! (75)
Score a 300 Combo!

ULSG Addict (100)
Earn ten quadrillion lifetime points!

TWO PLAYER!
(Haven’t thought of any yet Sad)

DUEL!
Perfect! (25)
Win a Duel with full health.

Inconcievable! (25)
Win a Duel while having a difficulty bar at least one level higher than your opponent’s.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

FRUIT FRENZY!
Fruit Frenzy Master (10)
Diamond Fruit Frenzy.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

NINJA SKILLZ!
Ninja Skillz Master (15)
Diamond Ninja Skillz.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

FOUR MINUTES!
Four Minutes Master (20)
Diamond Four Minutes.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

21 SECONDS!
21 Seconds Master (21)
Diamond 21 Seconds.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

AREA 51!
Area 51 Master (25)
Diamond Area 51.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

DOUBLE TROUBLE!
Double Trouble Master (25)
Diamond Double Trouble.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

OVERDRIVE!
Slow ‘n’ Steady! (25)
Last 30 seconds in Overdrive while using Low-Speed.

Fast ‘n’ Furious! (10)
Last 30 seconds in Overdrive while using High-Speed.

Overdrive Master (25)
Diamond Overdrive.

Let’s get this over with… (25)
Get owned in half a second or less.

Elite Speed! (50)
Last at least 90 seconds.

Aaaand that’s all I have so far. Open-mouthed Despite all this, the Achievements window is a bit empty:

Ya, there’ll be more in there than that. Open-mouthed And there WILL be Master Challenges for filling out a whole grid, which lead to more Achievement Points (to buy special craft and unlocks) and unlockables! Open-mouthed

Right, I’m off, as it’s pretty late. I’ll see yas later! Smile

CHALLENGE HARD MUCH?!

Okay, so I actually bought Bejeweled Twist (because PopCap f**king deserve the money, for all their work Open-mouthed) and I have now run into the Detonator 7 Challenge:

?! Surprised ALL GEMS in ONE MOVE?!

Right, I am going to try, and I will be back in a bit! Open-mouthed

(Oh, and by the way, I set the resolution on the game to "ULTRA". Open-mouthed It’s in HD, and looks like ownage!! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed)

UPDATE!

Okay, that wasn’t hard, actually. Tongue out Just a little bit time consuming. Match eight sets of five gems to create eight lightning gems, stack ’em up at the left, detonate one of them, boom! Board clear, job done, unlocked Eclipse Mode. Open-mouthed

I didn’t actually think this day would ever come…

But it came, as I was LEAST EXPECTING IT TO! Open-mouthed The NEW BEJEWELED HAS BEEN RELEASED! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed
 
It’s a little different now, though. It’s not a "true" match three anymore, it’s a Hexic-style match three. I thought that may have been a bad idea… but um… well… NO IT WASN’T!
 
I’ll let the game speak for itself. This game is:
 

 
Probably even MORE than that, I couldn’t get a high enough cascade for the game to speak more. Tongue out¬†Oh, and by the way, if you disagree, Mr. T will come and KICK YO ASS, FOOL! Tongue out
 
Go and get it, it’s uber! Open-mouthed¬†To give you an idea of how addicted I was, I used up the hour trial, without even REALISING. It felt like HALF that time! Open-mouthed
 
Anyhoo, I’ll see yous all¬†later! Open-mouthed

Nerds…

Okay, so the World of Warcraft expansion is out now, and we’re on day… 3, I think? Well… people have actually gotten from Level 70 to Level 80 in a DAY. To you people, you ACTUALLY need a life. WTF was the point of blazing through the expansion for 30 hours non-stop to be the first people to 80, when all you’re gonna do when it’s over is moan that it didn’t last long enough and it was too easy and blah blah blah. They get on my fricking nerves, they do.
 
People who had done everything were constantly moaning before the expansion (because there was nothing to do), while the expansion was being made (cuz of things that Blizzard had changed, like damage, talents, honour points, and making the best equipment not the best anymore), during the expansion (because of the ease of it (because they had the best equipment available) and because of a few bugged quests and a couple of server shutdowns) and they will be still moaning¬†AFTER the expansion, because the expansion didn’t last very long or there’s nothing else left to do…
 
To all you WoW nerds out there, if you constantly keep moaning that there’s nothing to do, and only come on WoW to moan and spam trade chat… DON’T FUCKING PLAY THE GAME! Go outside and DO SOMETHING, or if you can’t cuz you’re fat or have no friends, then go on ANOTHER game! Preferably single-player so no-one can hear you moan!
 
Anyhoo, now that that’s out of the way… let’s actually talk about the expansion. Open-mouthed
 
The WoW expansion is great, new area, new quests, new talents, new class that looks like friggin’ win, 10 more levels to earn… but it does NOT deserve coverage on the radio or TV. Yes, it did get coverage on both TV and radio.
 
It’s not THAT good… some of the new areas are boring… some of the quests seem like I’ve done them before somewhere… several times…¬†and the graphics are still the same… they look like shite. Well, okay, MOST of the game looks like shite, especially environments. Characters look okay, I guess. Basically, it’s an expansion that will keep you occupied, and it’s enjoyable, but it doesn’t deserve¬†an extreme amount of¬†awards…
 
Gameplay is still the same as it was (good, but it can dull a little bit after a while), the storyline is complicated, bollocks and ignorable, the community is either retarded, rude,¬†or¬†full of kids who aren’t even old enough to play the game yet (there is a SLIGHT opening where the community is actually NICE, but that doesn’t come often) and any game out this year can beat the graphics (Some people come along with crap saying it’s "stylised", but um… if you’d have a look at Blizzard’s proper rendered cutscenes for the same game, they are LIFELIKE, and everything actually looks REAL. If they can do that in a cutscene, then why the hell don’t they try making it¬†like that (within reason, of course)¬†in the game?!). It COULD win the best MMORPG award, based on the pure fact that’s it’s got the most players, and because it has the fastest gameplay pace, even though sometimes it’s not that fast. It’s a good game… but doesn’t deserve anything extreme. For example, if it gets Game Of The Year… that is WAY too high. Tongue out
 
Anyway… I have heard a rumour that Diablo III is available for preorder… NOW. ALREADY?! WTF? It doesn’t even feel like yesterday since they announced it… and now they’re¬†saying it’ll be ready for MARCH?!¬†Confused
 
This isn’t… good. Because as you know… a rushed game… sucks! ANYTHING that’s just¬†been rushed has a HUGE chance of sucking! I’m gonna check and see if this rumour is balls, hang on a sec…
 
Ookay… you CAN preorder it, incredibly. It has no release date, so THAT rumour is balls, thank God. Open-mouthed¬†The thing is, there are only FIVE character classes instead of the seven you can get on Diablo II. That means two have been kicked¬†out (hopefully the Amazon and the Assassin) one has been replaced with the Witch Doctor (Hopefully the Necromancer) one is still the Barbarian (Okay, I guess) and the other three are undetermined. Hopefully the Sorceress stays because she does mega-damage, hopefully the Paladin stays with Holy Shock in the same state, because HE does mega-damage, and hopefully there’s a new class, cuz the others sucked. Open-mouthed
 
Please Blizzard… don’t nerf the Paladin in Diablo III… Open-mouthed
 
You see, I WANT TO HELP WITH DIABLO!! Open-mouthed¬†I loved the other two, the second especially… and I just want to make sure that they don’t get rid of the uber fun of one-shotting five enemies in a row with a single click, while being surrounded by a huge group of enemies that want to gang rape you! Cuz if you’re surrounded, they can one-shot you, too! Open-mouthed
 
If there’s only one game you’ll preorder in the next year or so, for GOD’S SAKE PLEASE make it Diablo III. It will be SO MUCH FUN, and SO AWESOME. Open-mouthed
 
Anyhoo, that’s my entry for now. See yous later!¬† Open-mouthed

Gears 2!

Yes, so I got Gears of War 2 several days ago! Open-mouthed I played quite a bit of it on the first day, but then I got distracted by WoW. Sad But, I finished the game last night! Open-mouthed
 
Gameplay is UBER, it’s better than the original by miles, there’s so much more action and variety than in the original. For example, in one part you get to fly on a Reaver, and another part you get to¬†ride on a Brumak! If you’ve not played Gears before, the Reaver is a giant… alien… thing, that somehow flies, has six legs and has turrets on it. A Brumak is like a giant dinosaur/lizard/alien thing which moves very slowly (cuz it’s got giant turrets and rocket launchers on it), but ah… when you control one, it’s next to invincible. Open-mouthed
 
The story… is nearly non-existent. Parts of the game that DID have a storyline¬†either didn’t end well enough (therefore it was unsatisfying) or were so generic that they could be generally ignored. The ending, despite being told that it was "epic", was um… was far from that. I’ll put it in black highlight so you can’t read it unless you highlight it: At the end of the part where you control a Brumak, it goes mental and hits one of the choppers that (ironically) had the bomb in it that you needed to blow up the place you were in and sink the only city left on Sera, cuz then that would flood the Locust tunnels and destroy the Locust Horde. BUT, the Brumak that you were controlling was stood in some Imulsion (still don’t get what that is) and it transformed into a big thing that could explode. Ironically. So you blow it up, sink the city, flood the Locust and that’s the end of that. The Locust leader says something at the end, trying to make it an epic finish with a super outro… but it didn’t mean anything to me, so it was completely ignorable. Therefore the game had no meaningful ending, no-one won the war, and a realistic ending would be that the humans can’t survive on Sera and all go extinct anyway… therefore making the series of events¬†absolutely pointless… therefore making the effort to save the world… POINTLESS. Sorry to say that. It would have actually been a better ending if the Locust stopped you from sinking the city and having a bad ending… cuz then at least¬†SOMETHING would have¬†gotten¬†benefit¬†from¬†the war… but no.
 
All¬†modern games¬†have shitty endings, anyway, maybe apart from some RPG’s and¬†Call of Duty 4. That¬†had actually¬†quite a good ending, because you were a part of it, it didn’t just¬†SHOW you the ending. And at least SOMEONE won the war, and you were a hero, cuz you owned the enemy¬†leader AND his bodyguards¬†while in Last Stand¬†with a pistol¬†and limited ammo. Tongue out
 
Anyhoo… enough about unsatisfying endings… at least Gears 2 had some awesome gameplay. Sometimes with unbelievably extreme amounts of gore that make me think that Epic has some sort of¬†blood fetish or¬†something. Confused¬†I reckon¬†it also¬†tests your nerves, becase some squeamish people would NEVER get past the act where you’re inside the worm without freaking out. Seriously.
 
Oh, and speaking about "Seriously"… there’s a new achievement that follows on from Gears 1! It’s called… Seriously 2.0! And this time… you have to kill… 100,000 enemies. Yes. 100,000. It includes kills made in single-player, yes,¬†but come ON!¬†Last time it was 10,000, and that was only for multiplayer. So, you have to kill 90,000 more things than you did in Gears 1¬†to be able to get Seriously 2.0. That’s probably the longest, most daunting achievement EVER. I am about 2% of the way there. Tongue out
 
I played multiplayer against some bots… and it is… AWESOME. If it’s AWESOME against BOTS… then… ZOMG, it must be INSANE against real players! I’m gonna play a few games tonight, methinks! Open-mouthed
 
Anyhoo, I’m off for now. Get Gears 2, it’s awesome. Open-mouthed¬†Bye bye! Smile