An epic moment in gaming…

Yes! And no, it’s not from a mainstream game that’s sold millions of copies worldwide… it’s from BEJEWELED TWIST. Below is the reason why I LOVE Indie games. Open-mouthed
PopCap… I actually love you. Open-mouthed¬†We are SO on the same wavelength! I could watch that a hundred times and not get bored of it! Open-mouthed
You see, Indie games can last forever, and are so much more fun, and sometimes full of random easter eggs like ^that^ one, which are hilarious. Open-mouthed¬†MAINSTEAM games don’t last forever, they can get boring relatively easily if¬†you only have one player playing it¬†(like Gears of War 2, that was more immersive rather than fun, and it really didn’t last long) and they can get really¬†frustrating. Indie games also don’t have¬†a goal, your main aim is to get better and beat your best score. Whereas mainstream games have goals, and once you’ve reached them, that’s it, there’s not much reason to play the game anymore.
Got any positions open, PopCap? I’d love to join you! Open-mouthed¬†No, really!¬†Just tell me what type of code I’ll need to learn, and I’ll get right on it. Open-mouthed
Right, I’m off. Indie games FTW. Open-mouthed

ULSG Update!

Check it out:

The ACHIEVEMENT SYSTEM HAS LANDED! Open-mouthed It NEARLY works like ownage, just a few things to do to make it work perfectly. Then I need to add all 20 Achievements for the main game (Done 6 so far). THEN, I need to add Achievements for ALL the game modes! I got the whole list here:

I Activated Fruit Frenzy And All I Got Was This Stupid Achievement… (5)
Activate Fruit Frenzy for the first time.

Combonator (5)
Score a 25 Combo.

On The Way (10)
Earn an effective multiplier total of 10,000,000x in one game.

Not On My Shift (10)
Don’t let any enemies past you for at least 20 seconds of Quad Damage! (Only attainable after Level 15)

Ship Shreddin’ (10)
Take out 30 enemy ships in a single Rapid Fire powerup.

Can’t Touch This (10)
Pick up an Invincibility powerup while you already have Invincibility.

BANG, And The Dirt Is Still There! (10)
Collect Cillit Bang, then don’t destroy a single enemy while it’s active.

Choclit Overload (10)
Collect 75 Choclit Raindrops before Choclit Rain ends.

On The Edge (10)
Collect a Health Up powerup with flashing red health.

Shoop Da Whoop! (10)
Hit five enemies with the Choclit Ray at the same time.

Combolicious (10)
Score a 50 Combo.

BANZAI! (25)
Reach Level 28.

Combo Crazy (25)
Score a 100 Combo.

C-C-C-Combo Breaker! (25)
Lose a 200+ Combo.

Collateral Damage (25)
Destroy a Cruiser while Quad Damage and Nineteen are both active.

The Perfect Cleaning Combination (25)
Score a 100 Combo while Cillit Bang and Quad Damage are both active.

Combo Maniac (40)
Score a 200 Combo.

ULSG Master (50)
Earn one quadrillion points in a single game!

Combo Insanity! (75)
Score a 300 Combo!

ULSG Addict (100)
Earn ten quadrillion lifetime points!

(Haven’t thought of any yet Sad)

Perfect! (25)
Win a Duel with full health.

Inconcievable! (25)
Win a Duel while having a difficulty bar at least one level higher than your opponent’s.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

Fruit Frenzy Master (10)
Diamond Fruit Frenzy.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

Ninja Skillz Master (15)
Diamond Ninja Skillz.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

Four Minutes Master (20)
Diamond Four Minutes.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

21 Seconds Master (21)
Diamond 21 Seconds.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

AREA 51!
Area 51 Master (25)
Diamond Area 51.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

Double Trouble Master (25)
Diamond Double Trouble.

(There’ll be more here later on Smile)

Slow ‘n’ Steady! (25)
Last 30 seconds in Overdrive while using Low-Speed.

Fast ‘n’ Furious! (10)
Last 30 seconds in Overdrive while using High-Speed.

Overdrive Master (25)
Diamond Overdrive.

Let’s get this over with… (25)
Get owned in half a second or less.

Elite Speed! (50)
Last at least 90 seconds.

Aaaand that’s all I have so far. Open-mouthed Despite all this, the Achievements window is a bit empty:

Ya, there’ll be more in there than that. Open-mouthed And there WILL be Master Challenges for filling out a whole grid, which lead to more Achievement Points (to buy special craft and unlocks) and unlockables! Open-mouthed

Right, I’m off, as it’s pretty late. I’ll see yas later! Smile


Okay, so I actually bought Bejeweled Twist (because PopCap f**king deserve the money, for all their work Open-mouthed) and I have now run into the Detonator 7 Challenge:

?! Surprised ALL GEMS in ONE MOVE?!

Right, I am going to try, and I will be back in a bit! Open-mouthed

(Oh, and by the way, I set the resolution on the game to "ULTRA". Open-mouthed It’s in HD, and looks like ownage!! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed)


Okay, that wasn’t hard, actually. Tongue out Just a little bit time consuming. Match eight sets of five gems to create eight lightning gems, stack ’em up at the left, detonate one of them, boom! Board clear, job done, unlocked Eclipse Mode. Open-mouthed

I didn’t actually think this day would ever come…

But it came, as I was LEAST EXPECTING IT TO! Open-mouthed The NEW BEJEWELED HAS BEEN RELEASED! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed
It’s a little different now, though. It’s not a "true" match three anymore, it’s a Hexic-style match three. I thought that may have been a bad idea… but um… well… NO IT WASN’T!
I’ll let the game speak for itself. This game is:

Probably even MORE than that, I couldn’t get a high enough cascade for the game to speak more. Tongue out¬†Oh, and by the way, if you disagree, Mr. T will come and KICK YO ASS, FOOL! Tongue out
Go and get it, it’s uber! Open-mouthed¬†To give you an idea of how addicted I was, I used up the hour trial, without even REALISING. It felt like HALF that time! Open-mouthed
Anyhoo, I’ll see yous all¬†later! Open-mouthed


Okay, so the World of Warcraft expansion is out now, and we’re on day… 3, I think? Well… people have actually gotten from Level 70 to Level 80 in a DAY. To you people, you ACTUALLY need a life. WTF was the point of blazing through the expansion for 30 hours non-stop to be the first people to 80, when all you’re gonna do when it’s over is moan that it didn’t last long enough and it was too easy and blah blah blah. They get on my fricking nerves, they do.
People who had done everything were constantly moaning before the expansion (because there was nothing to do), while the expansion was being made (cuz of things that Blizzard had changed, like damage, talents, honour points, and making the best equipment not the best anymore), during the expansion (because of the ease of it (because they had the best equipment available) and because of a few bugged quests and a couple of server shutdowns) and they will be still moaning¬†AFTER the expansion, because the expansion didn’t last very long or there’s nothing else left to do…
To all you WoW nerds out there, if you constantly keep moaning that there’s nothing to do, and only come on WoW to moan and spam trade chat… DON’T FUCKING PLAY THE GAME! Go outside and DO SOMETHING, or if you can’t cuz you’re fat or have no friends, then go on ANOTHER game! Preferably single-player so no-one can hear you moan!
Anyhoo, now that that’s out of the way… let’s actually talk about the expansion. Open-mouthed
The WoW expansion is great, new area, new quests, new talents, new class that looks like friggin’ win, 10 more levels to earn… but it does NOT deserve coverage on the radio or TV. Yes, it did get coverage on both TV and radio.
It’s not THAT good… some of the new areas are boring… some of the quests seem like I’ve done them before somewhere… several times…¬†and the graphics are still the same… they look like shite. Well, okay, MOST of the game looks like shite, especially environments. Characters look okay, I guess. Basically, it’s an expansion that will keep you occupied, and it’s enjoyable, but it doesn’t deserve¬†an extreme amount of¬†awards…
Gameplay is still the same as it was (good, but it can dull a little bit after a while), the storyline is complicated, bollocks and ignorable, the community is either retarded, rude,¬†or¬†full of kids who aren’t even old enough to play the game yet (there is a SLIGHT opening where the community is actually NICE, but that doesn’t come often) and any game out this year can beat the graphics (Some people come along with crap saying it’s "stylised", but um… if you’d have a look at Blizzard’s proper rendered cutscenes for the same game, they are LIFELIKE, and everything actually looks REAL. If they can do that in a cutscene, then why the hell don’t they try making it¬†like that (within reason, of course)¬†in the game?!). It COULD win the best MMORPG award, based on the pure fact that’s it’s got the most players, and because it has the fastest gameplay pace, even though sometimes it’s not that fast. It’s a good game… but doesn’t deserve anything extreme. For example, if it gets Game Of The Year… that is WAY too high. Tongue out
Anyway… I have heard a rumour that Diablo III is available for preorder… NOW. ALREADY?! WTF? It doesn’t even feel like yesterday since they announced it… and now they’re¬†saying it’ll be ready for MARCH?!¬†Confused
This isn’t… good. Because as you know… a rushed game… sucks! ANYTHING that’s just¬†been rushed has a HUGE chance of sucking! I’m gonna check and see if this rumour is balls, hang on a sec…
Ookay… you CAN preorder it, incredibly. It has no release date, so THAT rumour is balls, thank God. Open-mouthed¬†The thing is, there are only FIVE character classes instead of the seven you can get on Diablo II. That means two have been kicked¬†out (hopefully the Amazon and the Assassin) one has been replaced with the Witch Doctor (Hopefully the Necromancer) one is still the Barbarian (Okay, I guess) and the other three are undetermined. Hopefully the Sorceress stays because she does mega-damage, hopefully the Paladin stays with Holy Shock in the same state, because HE does mega-damage, and hopefully there’s a new class, cuz the others sucked. Open-mouthed
Please Blizzard… don’t nerf the Paladin in Diablo III… Open-mouthed
You see, I WANT TO HELP WITH DIABLO!! Open-mouthed¬†I loved the other two, the second especially… and I just want to make sure that they don’t get rid of the uber fun of one-shotting five enemies in a row with a single click, while being surrounded by a huge group of enemies that want to gang rape you! Cuz if you’re surrounded, they can one-shot you, too! Open-mouthed
If there’s only one game you’ll preorder in the next year or so, for GOD’S SAKE PLEASE make it Diablo III. It will be SO MUCH FUN, and SO AWESOME. Open-mouthed
Anyhoo, that’s my entry for now. See yous later!¬† Open-mouthed

Gears 2!

Yes, so I got Gears of War 2 several days ago! Open-mouthed I played quite a bit of it on the first day, but then I got distracted by WoW. Sad But, I finished the game last night! Open-mouthed
Gameplay is UBER, it’s better than the original by miles, there’s so much more action and variety than in the original. For example, in one part you get to fly on a Reaver, and another part you get to¬†ride on a Brumak! If you’ve not played Gears before, the Reaver is a giant… alien… thing, that somehow flies, has six legs and has turrets on it. A Brumak is like a giant dinosaur/lizard/alien thing which moves very slowly (cuz it’s got giant turrets and rocket launchers on it), but ah… when you control one, it’s next to invincible. Open-mouthed
The story… is nearly non-existent. Parts of the game that DID have a storyline¬†either didn’t end well enough (therefore it was unsatisfying) or were so generic that they could be generally ignored. The ending, despite being told that it was "epic", was um… was far from that. I’ll put it in black highlight so you can’t read it unless you highlight it: At the end of the part where you control a Brumak, it goes mental and hits one of the choppers that (ironically) had the bomb in it that you needed to blow up the place you were in and sink the only city left on Sera, cuz then that would flood the Locust tunnels and destroy the Locust Horde. BUT, the Brumak that you were controlling was stood in some Imulsion (still don’t get what that is) and it transformed into a big thing that could explode. Ironically. So you blow it up, sink the city, flood the Locust and that’s the end of that. The Locust leader says something at the end, trying to make it an epic finish with a super outro… but it didn’t mean anything to me, so it was completely ignorable. Therefore the game had no meaningful ending, no-one won the war, and a realistic ending would be that the humans can’t survive on Sera and all go extinct anyway… therefore making the series of events¬†absolutely pointless… therefore making the effort to save the world… POINTLESS. Sorry to say that. It would have actually been a better ending if the Locust stopped you from sinking the city and having a bad ending… cuz then at least¬†SOMETHING would have¬†gotten¬†benefit¬†from¬†the war… but no.
All¬†modern games¬†have shitty endings, anyway, maybe apart from some RPG’s and¬†Call of Duty 4. That¬†had actually¬†quite a good ending, because you were a part of it, it didn’t just¬†SHOW you the ending. And at least SOMEONE won the war, and you were a hero, cuz you owned the enemy¬†leader AND his bodyguards¬†while in Last Stand¬†with a pistol¬†and limited ammo. Tongue out
Anyhoo… enough about unsatisfying endings… at least Gears 2 had some awesome gameplay. Sometimes with unbelievably extreme amounts of gore that make me think that Epic has some sort of¬†blood fetish or¬†something. Confused¬†I reckon¬†it also¬†tests your nerves, becase some squeamish people would NEVER get past the act where you’re inside the worm without freaking out. Seriously.
Oh, and speaking about "Seriously"… there’s a new achievement that follows on from Gears 1! It’s called… Seriously 2.0! And this time… you have to kill… 100,000 enemies. Yes. 100,000. It includes kills made in single-player, yes,¬†but come ON!¬†Last time it was 10,000, and that was only for multiplayer. So, you have to kill 90,000 more things than you did in Gears 1¬†to be able to get Seriously 2.0. That’s probably the longest, most daunting achievement EVER. I am about 2% of the way there. Tongue out
I played multiplayer against some bots… and it is… AWESOME. If it’s AWESOME against BOTS… then… ZOMG, it must be INSANE against real players! I’m gonna play a few games tonight, methinks! Open-mouthed
Anyhoo, I’m off for now. Get Gears 2, it’s awesome. Open-mouthed¬†Bye bye! Smile

No pain, no gain!

Riiight, so a couple of days ago, I decided to finish earning all the money for my Epic Flying mount on Warcraft. And… I did it! Open-mouthed The painful bit was buying the skill… which cost… 5000 gold. And that is… a… LOT. Then the mount itself cost 200g, which Andy very nicely lent to me. Open-mouthed Paid him back today. Open-mouthed

I was expecting a lot, but when I got on my gryphon and took off… it was like being hit by a nuclear missile! HOLY SHITE it was fast! Surprised It goes at 280% your normal speed, which is just under five times faster than normal flying mounts can go… and just under 3 times faster than epic land mounts can go. It is UBER. Open-mouthed Got a couple of pictures of me here:

Awesome! Open-mouthed It’s funny, cuz I was the last out of me, Ped, Andy, Si, Neb and Rich to Level 70… but I got my Epic Flying skill and mount SECOND. Andy just beat me to it.¬†Open-mouthed But now I’ve completed the initial group of quests for the Netherwing and unlocked the daily quests for them… I’m well on my way to earning a Netherdrake, by far THE coolest mount on any game, ever.

The awesome thing is, before you’re actually able to buy the Netherdrake mount, you’re transformed into an orc riding a Netherdrake when you go over to the place where you do the dailies. It surprised me when it happened, and ZOMG, they are so awesome to fly! You feel all mighty and powerful, and you and the Netherdrake look like SERIOUS awesome winnage on a stick… and despite WoW having a knack for pathetic graphics… Netherdrakes are one of the few things that actually look DETAILED! On maximum graphics, at least. Open-mouthed

Don’t deny it, dude. Even if you hate Warcraft… you have to admit… that Netherdrake… looks… like… serious… WIN. And the cool thing is… even though Andy and I started the Netherwing dailies at the same time… I am ahead of him in reputation! Open-mouthed Last to 70… first to the most awesome mount in the game! UBER WIN NINJA SKILLZ! Open-mouthed

But I digress. I shouldn’t gloat.¬†Tongue out Even though the only three people likely to have a Netherdrake anytime soon are Andy, Si and me. And that I am likely to be the first to poke my dragon’s muzzle into other players’ faces, such as Ped, who seriously wants one, too. Open-mouthed

It’s only us three who are likely to get one because Neb has spent ALL his money on powerleveling his Blacksmithing skill for no logical reason that I can see (you can get better weapons faster than you can get from Blacksmithing for no money at all just by playing against other players for honour points and marks of honour), Ped can’t be arsed to do the Level 70 daily quests for some reason, (they’re one of the main sources of income for a Level 70 player, it’s not like they’re hard either, especially in a group), Rich spends his money on pointless things and leveling his Enchanting skill, made worse by constantly resurrecting at the graveyard, which damages his expensive equipment, which costs a LOT to repair. I’m likely to get one because I’ve got the riding skill, and I’ve got access to the daily quests, Andy’s likely to get one for the same reason as me, and Si’s likely to get one cuz he’s only a few hundred gold away from the riding skill, and he’s nearly unlocked the daily quests. Open-mouthed

Shame about the expansion coming out soon, though. Can’t fly in the new area until level 76…ish. Sad

ANYHOO! I’ll shut up for now, I’m probably boring you. Tongue out I’m off for now, but I’ll see you alls later! Open-mouthed


Right, Aaron showed me a video at college today… and I literally nearly laughed my guts out, it was THAT funny. Open-mouthed
Now, you check it out!  Open-mouthed ARNOLD PAWNCH!!
It’s Arnie punching some guy in the stomach on Kindergarten Cop, but it’s remixed to¬†heavy metal music, and he does it 86 times. FTW!! Open-mouthed¬†It’s too awesome. Open-mouthed
Right, anyhoo, I’m gonna just finish editing ULSG, and I’ll be off to bed. Buoi buoi! Open-mouthed


Right, just writing quickly to say that Gears of War 2 is on it’s way to mah house! Open-mouthed¬†NIIIICE! Open-mouthed
Please, Epic, please tell me that you’ve made Marcus and Dom and everyone say "NIIICE!" at LEAST once each? Just like the original Gears? That would be uber¬†awesome. Open-mouthed
Right, I’m off to have mah tea. See yas in a lickle bit! Open-mouthed