Designed to make you laugh!

Hey! How are you? That’s great. Open-mouthed Yes, I know it’s WAY earlier than I said in the previous blog entry, and that is EXTREMELY strange for me… but I have to go to College to print these assignments off in a bit anyway, so I might as well post this now. Smile Besides, I enjoyed writing this piece quite a lot, and I just wanna show you it quickly. Open-mouthed
Before I start, hello to Claire! I dunno who you are, but that doesn’t matter. Open-mouthed Be prepared for a LOT of e-mails about updates of my Space. Tongue out
Now, I’ve been working on this prototype for… something I might do in the future. Yes, it is a piece of writing, but this piece I’m gonna post was just something I randomly thought up of. And it was kinda inspired from a picture I saw recently. Open-mouthed
The whole point of this is to see if I can write well in 3rd person, not just 1st person, which I’ve been doing for the past year or so with Dragon Tail. This short is just a lighthearted, mature story that’s designed to make you laugh to a varying degree, depending how how much of an emo you are. Tongue out Yes, it involves dragons, as you should expect from me. Open-mouthed And yes, they are my type of dragon, the ones with personality and soul, and they can speak English, or Standard, as they call it. But… these are special dragons. Instead of using Guira, the Dragon World, they live on Earth. They have one God instead of ten, and they don’t speak Draconic. They don’t call English "Standard" anymore, either. They live in houses, not caves. And they can learn skills that normally you’d only expect humans to learn, for example, Storm practices Taekwondo and Vulcan… has a… special hobby. Open-mouthed
So, in other words, they are dragons living in a world of humans. Open-mouthed
Anyway, enough introduction. Have 1,397 words of short story fun. Was aiming for 1,337… but I went a little bit over. Open-mouthed

Dragons Evolved

It was a beautiful summer’s morning on Evergreen Close. The sun was gleaming in the clear, cloudless blue skies, and the trees around the neighbourhood were slowly waving in the gentle summer breeze, with their shining, green leaves rustling with them. The seven large houses around the Close were all seemingly lifeless, except for one. A cloud of grey smoke billowed from the house’s garden, accompanied by intermittent laughter.

Suddenly, the door of the house was opened, and out stepped a blue, lizard-like creature, complete with two striking wings, a long tail, and two sharp horns atop his head. He walked on his hind legs, and he had clawed hands and feet, with white talons that shone in the summer light, brilliantly. He had well-developed muscles, and looked like a very powerful creature.

This creature… was a dragon. This species of dragon was not much taller than a human, but had the same basic features as a full-sized Western Dragon; a semi-crooked, wedge-shaped head, two or more horns of various designs, sharp talons of varying length, large wings to allow flight, and, of course, the ability to breathe fire. But, this blue dragon wasn’t the only one of his kind. Evergreen Close was home to several of these fantastic creatures.

I must tell you, that these are not ordinary dragons, as you would find in many other fantasy stories. These dragons had soul. They had heart. They had personalities.

And, this blue dragon? He had attitude.

This dragon’s name was Storm, and he was a very outgoing creature, who truly enjoyed the company of others. He was also a bit of a troublemaker, and would do anything for a laugh. He often sported a black cowboy hat, purely for the fact that it “looked like awesome itself”.

Upon leaving the house, Storm had spotted his neighbour, a young adult human, watering her plants, and generally minding her own business. Storm suddenly grinned, and snickered under his breath. He then subtly put two of his fingers into his mouth, and wolf-whistled at the human. The human dropped her watering can in shock, and looked at Storm, who was casually leaning on the wall of his house, with his arms folded. He smiled at the human cheekily, and tilted his cowboy hat down slightly.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Storm said, with a very coquettish tone.

The human didn’t react to this at first, yet Storm carried on watching her, hypnotised, as if his eyes were physically glued to her body.

When she finally went back inside her house, under her breath, she murmured, “Damn dragon.”

Storm laughed quietly, and sighed in contentment.

“Gotta love the humans.” He said quietly.

Storm then suddenly frowned, and sniffed the air around him. He had smelled something… something smoky…

He looked at his reflection in the window of his house, nodding to himself in admiration. He tilted his head backwards, and looked down his nostrils. He then lifted up one of his arms, and sniffed underneath, trying to track the source of the stench.

“Well… that ain’t me…” He said to himself.

The laughter from the garden became louder, and Storm looked towards the sound. He growled.

“Vulcan… you idiot.” Storm said, disapprovingly.

Storm walked around to the back of his house, and entered the beautiful, lush garden. It was an amazing place; the grass was freshly cut, birds of all species were flocking to the bird feeder near the back of the garden, and an impressive apple tree was stood proudly near the garden gate. In the centre of the garden, there was a sun lounger, with another, striking red dragon laying on it. He was a little taller than Storm, but he also had less bulky muscles. He had a white, scaly underside, and his body was tattooed with various different images, among them were a few skulls, and a couple of Chinese dragons. He wore dark sunglasses, and he was holding a smoking object in his right claw.

“Vulcan!” Storm shouted, approaching the red dragon.

The red dragon slowly moved his head to look at Storm, and he grinned, mischievously.

“Heeeyyyy… Storrm! Whoo’za dragon, huh?” Vulcan slurred.

Storm held his arms out in front of him, as if to ask, “What the hell are you doing?”

Vulcan laughed, quietly, and looked up at the skies again. He lifted the smoking object in his right claw to his mouth, and he took a deep puff of it. He coughed, and laughed again.

“Vulcan, what the hell is this?” Storm asked, pointing a talon at the white, cylindrical object in Vulcan’s claw.

“Somet’in’ you ain’t gon’ get, brudda.” Vulcan said, slowly.

“What? Speak English, you stupid dragon.”

“But I has just spoken Eng-leesh… you are stupid one, fool.”

Storm spotted a plastic bag on the side table next to Vulcan, filled with a green, leafy plant. He picked it up, and sniffed inside it. His head recoiled, and he whistled, slowly.

“Holy shit, man! I thought you’d gotten off this crap!” Storm said, holding the bag up to Vulcan’s face.

“Ehhh, well… you know man… sometimes a dragon’s got change of mind… an’ he goes out ‘n’ does stuff… like…” Vulcan replied.

“How much of this did you buy?” Storm asked.

“Y’know… Storm…” Vulcan started, pointing one of his white talons at Storm. “I can actually remember…”

“Well?” Storm asked, impatiently.

“About… a hundred g’s…”

“What?! And how many joints have you smoked today already?”

“Uhm… I can’t understand wha’ you sayin’, man… speak English… stupid dragon…”

Storm shook his head, and looked at the ground near where Vulcan was lying. Joint butts were littered on the ground around him, and Storm attempted to count them.

“Seven… eight… nine… My God, Vulcan. You’ve smoked nine today, and it’s only…” Storm paused to look at his watch. “Three-o-clock! Don’t you have a job?”

“Jeah… but… you know… I sorta forgotten about that today.” Vulcan replied, with a giggle.

“God’s sake, man. How much did you pay for this crap?” Storm asked, a little fearful of the answer.

“Well… if you think really hard… then you can just find out…”

There was a pause.

“Vulcan…” Storm said, impatiently.

“Wha? You figuresed it out yet? Or are you a bit high todays?” Vulcan replied, struggling to speak properly.

“Get your head straight, and answer me! How much did you pay for it?”

“You don’t wanna know dat… but it’sh around… about… somethin’ like… seven-hundred?”

Storm’s jaw dropped.

“You what?! You paid seven-hundred quid for that?!” Storm exclaimed, pointing at the bag.

“Whassa’ problem wid’ dat?” Vulcan said. “You only gotten yourself to blame.”

“Christ Almighty, man…” Storm growled, facing away from Vulcan.

“You is a blasphemous son-of-a-bitch… you know dat, Stormy. You gonna get yo’ ass kicked pretty daaamn hot by dat God man…”

“The only thing that’s gonna get its ass kicked is that joint.” Storm said, turning around to look at Vulcan again. “Drop it!”

Vulcan laughed.

“That no gon’ happen, Stormy, man…”

“Drop it, now!”

“Ahhh, it don’t matter, you’re just gonna pull some… what you do… judo, karate, taekwondo… ah, whatever, you just gon’ pull dat martial shit on me if I don’t drop dis, anyway… c’mon, I bet’cha can’t hit it.” Vulcan said, holding the joint up in mid-air. “I get ta keep smokin’ it if ya don’t hits it.”

Storm narrowed his eyes, getting annoyed.

“Heeeere, Stormy Stormy Stormy!” Vulcan taunted, waving the joint in mid-air. “Come and get it!”

Storm growled, jumped a short height in the air, and pulled off an extremely precise tornado kick. He managed to kick the joint out of Vulcan’s grip, and, miraculously, it landed in the plastic bag, and started to burn the contents.

“Nooo!” Vulcan cried, falling off the sun lounger, and grabbing the bag. “My precious weed!”

Storm turned his back on Vulcan, and started to laugh, as he walked towards the garden gate.

“Haha, I has the last laugh, Storm!” Vulcan shouted. “I used your cash to buy dat grass! Ahaha! You just burned your own money!”

Storm laughed, and spoke without looking at Vulcan.

“Heh… you mean that cash you left lying around a couple of nights ago after you got pissed?”

“Wha…? Tha… that was… mine?” Vulcan asked, dumbfounded.

Storm laughed quietly to himself, and left the garden, leaving Vulcan to mourn over the loss of his weed.

Hehehe… did you like that? The ending was pretty tough, as I was looking for a final laugh for it, and there weren’t many ways to go. Was there anything wrong, or anything you’d change? I’m just practicing 3rd person, so if I’m doing anything wrong, just tell me!
Daaamn, they sound so un-Draconic now. Open-mouthed Buying weed from a dealer, smoking it in your back garden, having your mate knock it straight out of your grip… remembering you got pissed… and all the time, while being a dragon! It just makes it so unique! Open-mouthed
Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed it! I’ll see yous all later. Open-mouthed

11 thoughts on “Designed to make you laugh!

  1. Hey how are you?
    Dragons Evolved was FANTASTIC!!!!!!! It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!! Storm’s attitude was ACE and Vulcan’s special hobby was…unexpected but FANTASTIC because it was so unexpected. Honestly this was SOOOOOOO FUNNY and it was just AWESOME too. You should do more of these and put them in a collection and put them in a book and get it published! I’d definitely buy a copy! 😀 And you can definitely write in first and third person! 🙂
    OK I’m going now, but I’ll see ya soon
    Love Em xxx -hugs-

  2. Hehe, I’m glad you liked it! I was aiming to get it in a funny style, but with the type of dragons from Dragon Tail! These dragons are like Ifri, I guess! 😀
    And yes, that sounds like a good idea! But I’ve just gotta concentrate on Dragon Tail right now, but I might do that as… ANOTHER future project. 😀
    I think I’m still trying to get the hang of 3rd person, cuz it is a bit hard going from talking about "me" rather than "them." But I’ll get it eventually! 🙂

  3. Hey there!
    Yep, I write these by myself. 🙂 It’s a pretty weird, new-ish hobby of mine, weird because of me hating English and writing in first school and college. 😀
    Thanks for checking it out! 🙂

  4. no its a good hobby, youre good at it. i’d only change one thing but its not like major and i’m probably wrong…
    and dragons are really interesting to read about, theres not many books out about them

  5. Yeah, that’s true, unfortunately. 😦 And of the books that exist, a lot of them are really good at making the dragons sound dull and boring, but I don’t believe that’s right at all, they are supposed to be amazing creatures!
    Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it! 🙂

  6. yea such a good comment *cough cough* lol
    i fink theres a series of films about dragons that talk of them having hearts and being connected to humans and stuff and one person has half a dragon heart cuz the dragon was trying to save him…either that r i dreamt it…im leaning toward the first cuz i never have a creative brainwave…

  7. Hehe, no, really, any amount of encouragement/praise is nice. 🙂 Besides, I’ve only had one other person interested in my writing before, so it’s nice to know others like it, too. 🙂
    I think the first film you’re talking about is Eragon, I’m not sure, but I know the second one was definitely Dragonheart. That was the best dragon film I’ve ever seen, the dragon was so lifelike! Acting was a bit bad at parts, but well… I don’t really look too hard at that. 🙂 There was a sequel, but it was apparently nowhere near as good as the first, unfortunately. 😦

  8. i knew the name had dragon in it, shudda guessed…
    well i like to read so really no bother lol
    was a great movie like…
    i just realised, convo with a total randomer

  9. Lol, yeah, this is pretty weird. Sorry if I freaked you out or anything. 🙂
    Anyhoo, it’s been nice speaking with you. 🙂

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