Sorry about the INSANELY LONG¬†time since my last update, I’ve been having INSANE fun with my INSANE mouse!
I was gonna do a little video of it, but I can’t really be arsed, and I’ve explained most of it when I found it, anyway. It’s REALLY good, really weird to get used to (especially the mode-changing scroll wheel) and the weight tuning DOES work! Even though it’s only 28g of stuff! Well, I can feel a difference, anyway. You’ve really gotta see it in real life!
Now I just need a keyboard to go with it… Open-mouthed
That competition seems to have just vaporised into thin air; it’s off IGN’s page, Kwari never chose a new name for the Swarm Gun, and it’s technically like it never happened! Really weird. Kwari probably didn’t like any of the names, or chose not to change the name or something. Ah well.
I got the Orange Box on PC the other day, I’m not too sure if it was a good idea, though. You see, we have the internet, and this is provided by a service provider called AOL. And it’s slow and cuts out every 9 seconds.
But don’t worry! We are OUT OF CONTRACT! YEAH! *dances*
We are switching to O2. *groan* Now, I’m not¬†sure if this is going to¬†be any better, but God, it can’t¬†be any WORSE. O2 do PHONES, not BROADBAND.¬†And when you sign¬†up to one of those companies, things GO WRONG. Never mind, though, the setup won’t have this gay man speaking to you from a 320×240 resolution installer¬†that¬†PRETENDS to do stuff, like AOL had, and it won’t come with a Voyager 105 ADSL Modem, which Blue Screens your computer every week, like AOL had.
Anyway, I’m gonna DESTROY that modem after we get our MAC code to get rid of AOL forever. I’m gonna throw it out of my window! And watch it smash! AND I’M GONNA RECORD IT! Thing is, I’ll be doing the throwing, and some other person will be doing the filming, unless I put a tripod down. So I just hope they don’t suck ass and ruin the video.¬†Unless anyone else has a spare Voyager 105 they want to donate? No, seriously, if there’s anyone out there with an old BT Voyager 105 ADSL Modem, can you please leave a comment with your e-mail or something so I can get back to you? Thank you!
Dragon Tail is nearly done, just a few more things to mess with before I upload it. It’s a very… well, I’ll let you find out what happens. Open-mouthed
Now, I’d better be off, as it’s college in the morning. Bye now!

Okay, can someone explain this to me?

I’ve just tracked my G9 mouse on UPS, AGAIN, and it says that it was out for delivery from Nuneaton at 6:01.
That’s good!
But then I read the scheduled delivery date, and it says the 21ST?! What the hell?! How does it take FOUR DAYS to get from Nuneaton to Bromsgrove?! I did the route on Google and it said it would take about 46 MINUTES! Not¬†96 HOURS! Yes, I KNOW the M6 is crap, but that doesn’t change anything! It doesn’t take an extra 95 HOURS to get down the M6!
"Your package is on time" my ass!
So by REALISTIC time, it should be here today at some point, and by the very latest, tomorrow. Otherwise, UPS are complete idiots and can’t drive. Jeez, it’s a MOUSE! How hard can it be?!
Oh, and another thing! It got from Barking (in London) to Nuneaton in about¬†3¬†hours 15 mins, which is okay, because Google say it’d take about 2 hours 30 minutes, minus traffic and stuff. And now it’s gonna take 96 HOURS to get from Nuneaton to my house, which is a SHORTER DISTANCE than Barking to Nuneaton?! This delivery service is bollocks!
Anyhoo, I’ll tell you when I get it. Open-mouthed¬†Bye now!
(Oh, by the way, Ped got the RoD (Ring of Death)¬†on his 360! GUT-TED PED! And I¬†CAN go "haha" to him, because I’ve had it happen to me before. Tongue out¬†But it didn’t take that long to get it replaced. Open-mouthed)

Dragon Tail – Chapter 26!

It’s HERE! #26! It’s not too bad…¬†I¬†hope…
Well,¬†I can’t¬†actually think of much to say as an intro… so I’ll just let you read. Open-mouthed¬†Enjoy.

(ZOMG IT DISAPPEAREDED! Yes, as Dragon Tail is now finished, I need this off my Space. Sowwy.)

Yeah! Hopefully those MULTI-EMOTIONS got to you! They will soon… Well… one will. Open-mouthed¬†Should… might… maybe…
Alright! What did you think of this one? Any comments/suggestions? Or anything stupidly grammarifically¬†crap? Let me know. Open-mouthed¬†Next one will be here soon, it’s nearly done!
I’ll be-a going now. Bye!

I’ve got balls of STEEL!

I’ve got balls of STEEL!
Yes! Well, okay, no I haven’t.
We were messing around at college, right, and we found this guy on YouTube that logs onto Ventrilo¬†servers and just ABUSES everyone using sound effects! (Ventrilo’s a VoIP program, like¬†a online voice chat application, loads of nerds use it to talk to their guild on World Of Warcraft¬†or Lord Of The Rings or whatever shite¬†nerdy MMORPG they are playing over voice chat. Open-mouthed¬†Nearly everyone calls it "Vent".)
I have a few here if you’d like to look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE3KdcTgrno&feature=related¬†<< Duke Nukem style! (This one;s got a psychotic woman in it, and it’s got a lot of swearing. "I’M GONNA KILL YOU MOTHERF**KER, OLD STYLE!" :D:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIVTT4fgPQI&feature=related¬†<< Ohhh, dude, four strength, four stam leather belt! AHHH! Level 18? UHHH-HUUU! WoW nerd! The abuser recorded some guys voice and was playing it back ūüėÄ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wgSDTABf1I&feature=related << Who is this? This is me, Arnold Schwarzenegger! Open-mouthed
And there are more if you’d just want to search for "Ventrilo Harassment"! Open-mouthed
Anyhoo, did y’all get my new mobile number? I sent a mass-text out and then I couldn’t get any signal. I’ll resend it if any of you didn’t. Ant SHOULD have recieved it, and Andy should have, too, because I got delivery reports for them. Everyone else… none!
I’m not posting it here, only a DUMBASS would do that.
Dragon Tail… wow. We’re nearly at Meriva, the last chapter I’ve written so far,¬†and I’ve got the story going very well into it. Now, after Meriva, it might take a while, as I’m actually¬†creating¬†NEW chapters, not refining old ones.
When you read Meriva, you’ll probably understand what the aim of that chapter¬†was. Open-mouthed¬†Or should I say "Aims"?
Alright then! I see you later!


Yes, if you hadn’t noticed, I ordered my G9 just now! No, not with my own card, did you ever think that was gonna come within the next three years? No, I was a smartass, and as I can get around nearly anything, I set up a transfer from my bank account to my Mum’s and transferred the money across, so I could get the mouse! BANZAI! Yes, she knows that I did it, and she said I could, so don’t think I just did it because I’m a sad ickle boy and wanted to get my mousey before my DAMNED CRAPPYFAX debit card came. Well, I have been waiting THREE MONTHS for it, it’s driving me insane!
I’m gonna record my first usage of it, too, so you can see how good it is! And if you do get one after you’ve watched my video¬†(which you probably won’t, as it’s ¬£73,¬†and only an idiot would spend that much on a shaped piece of plastic with a lot of gadgets in it that can help you win a lot of online games) then¬†tell me so I can get affilate money off Logitech. Open-mouthed
Speckeroonie! I’ll see you later! Bipalurba!

Bipalurba: EXPLAINED!

I thought it would be a nice time to explain the word "BIPALURBA"!
Well, it’s really weird how I found it, really, I was watching Bargain Hunt (No, I do NOT watch it often) and you know the part where they discover how crap they’ve done after the auction? You know, where they go "Well, that’s minus 8, minus 30 and minus 20, and your bonus buy got you another minus 3, so that’s a total of -¬£61, it COULD be a winning score!" and then there’s that music jingle after it? Well that’s where the word comes from, THE MUSIC JINGLE!
Have a sound clip! Just click play or download or whatever. Open-mouthed
HAHAHA! Whoever made that song is both a total idiot and a genius! Its made BIPALURBA frenzy in my house, and now EVERY¬†MOBILE PHONE IN THE HOUSE¬†has it as the ringtone or the message tone! Except my mum’s, she doesn’t get the novelty of it. Open-mouthed
Alright then! I’ll be going now. Bye!
(PS: Dragon Tail will be here soon, don’t wet yourself! Open-mouthed)


Yes, so I was searching on the internet for some random utilities that might help me with writing Dragon Tail or just for a larf, so I found THESE TWO PROGRAMS!
(hang on a tick, let me just get it going…)
There was once a moot who’s name was moot. The moot was a very mootlike moot, with all the moot and moot of a real moot! this story makes no sense at all, but I really don’t care, as I’m writing it apparently at 69 WPM! HAHA!
There we go, that should do it. Open-mouthed
(CPM is Characters Per Minute, it really should be KSPM (Key Strokes Per Minute) but I messed it up and Paint only has three undo levels, so plah.)
They are just COOL! And sad. But there you go. 70 WPM maximum! I’m-a getting faster! Oh, and the speedometer (or TypOMeter as they call it) has a load of graphs telling you all sorts of useful and useless information, such as which keys you use the most and which keys you delete the most! And there’s also a graph showing you your WPM and CPM over the last five minutes, and it’s stupidly overly complicated! I have a scweenshot… one sec..
If you want to get these two near-useless-yet-fun-to-look-at programs then just ask, because I can’t actually remember the sites where I got them from. Open-mouthed¬†The Odometer will be useful for my new mouse, so I can tell if they were lying when they said the mouse feet would last 250km, and just cuz I can. ūüėÄ
That’s when I ever get my CARD!
The typometer is EXTREMELY useful when I’m writing Dragon Tail, I was burning along last night at about 65 WPM, which would get me employed nearly anywhere in an office! That’s if I had the qualifications. And the training to put up with whatever it is that I had to do! 500CPM!!
See how sad I have become? Open-mouthed
By the way, Dragon Tail now¬†is 102 PAGES OF A4 LONG¬†and has 63,927 WORDS!! BOOYAH! And I’m not done yet! I reckon that could be at 100,000 words by the time I’m finished! Open-mouthed
Speckeroonie! I’ll see you later! Bye now!