Today… was hell. But hellishly worth it!

Right, so I have this incredible vision of TELEPATHY. Yes, TELEPATHY.
 
Then I scrapped that, and made RMS.
 
Now, that doesn’t sound particularly exciting. But when I explain, it dawns on you that this is the most incredible tool ever invented!
I started out with this idea of being able to use a computer from another computer. Like a remote. Remote assistance was slow and really boring, so I decided to spice it up a little, with more, FUN features.
Starting with a little, simple, h4xx0r style window, I built a little mini Windows. It’s nothing LIKE Windows, but it’s the closest thing to it. Well, maybe that emulator for the SNES is closer, but no-one knows that thing.
Then I found a cool robot voice, and made him say all the menu items and stuff, like "Mode" and "Action". That was a hard bit, as I had to use FruityLoops. Don’t bother if you’ve never touched something called an ARPEGGIATOR or understand ANY advanced music lingo. I hate the program, and the excessively low amount of help you can get with it. The only good thing is the voice generator.
It took me about… TEN HOURS to make a very well functioning, easy to use, lagless… HACKER KIT!
 
YES! It’s just like something you use to make people’s computers run in the way you want them to! Well, okay, it can play sounds over the internet and run programs that look like pop-ups, and also flash up scary images on the other computers that are connected… and shut down their computer…
It is just so blindingly satisfying, though! When my sister was on the bog, I started up the program, and put her into Beta mode. That’s the mode that can recieve stuff. The "sucker" mode. I went upstairs, opened the same program on my computer, and ran Alpha mode. That’s where you can send stuff to the Beta.
 
So you’re thinking, "It’ll be blatantly obvious that your sister will see it on her screen!", but you’re wrong. I implemented the Cloak feature into the Beta mode, which makes the program literally INVISIBLE. It doesn’t show on the taskbar, it doesn’t show in the system tray… hell, it doesn’t even show up in TASK MANAGER! The only way you can uncloak it is by using the Uncloak command in the System Menu on¬†Alpha.¬†So, before I left my sister’s computer, I stuck the Beta into Cloak mode, went upstairs, loaded up the Actions menu, and waited…
 
Soon enough, she was off the bog! I loaded up the Sounds menu, and chose the "WANK" sound! I clicked the button, and the robot man says "Sound Sent!"
A split second later…
 
A guy shouts "WANK!" on the downstairs computer, REALLY LOUDLY! And all I hear my sister say is "Ooh… why did it do that?!"
I was laughing for HOURS, and she STILL doesn’t know that I did it! It was a shame, though, that was the only sound I could do, before she turned off the speakers. And as I haven’t made any of the pop-up apps yet, or the image apps yet, I couldn’t do much more. So I just used Super Close and closed Alpha and Beta at the same¬†time.
 
That is the most funniest program I have ever made in years. I’ll be getting a video in a bit showing it in action, so I’ll see you then! Bye!

Dragon Worlds – Chapter 14! (and 15!)

Oh joyous!¬†It’s here! Chapter 14! (I was gonna put the 15th one in, too, until I saw the length of 14. I was writing all the semi-rant and¬†then I looked at Chapter 14 and thought "I’d better not put ’em both here yet.")
But first, a little reply to a message Em sent me over EHM ESH EHN.
 
WHAT IN HOLY CRAP’S NAME WAS THAT?! That was just the single most stupidest thing I’ve ever seen on any kind of Guitar Hero in my life! That’s like, the Jordan of Guitar Hero 3!
But, I have some little things that I know about.
 
First, I know Dragonforce. Please tell me that’s Dragonforce, right? Otherwise I’m gonna look like some sort of stupid tit. Oh, wait, yup, that’s them, I’m¬†okay.¬†I know Dragonforce use computers to speed up their guitars, drums, and bass and whatever they have, just like nearly every single band today does to some extent, and THEN they probably sing the lyrics over that. SO how in the name of all things holy can a HUMAN possibly play THAT SONG?! I can’t even strum that fast when I’m messing around in the menus!
Second, Guitar Hero only just came out in America TODAY. So how can ANY LIVING PERSON possibly be able to play it to near-perfection on the FIRST DAY?! Either that’s just sad, or they’re cheating. I think that they’ve hooked it up to a computer and the computer’s playing it for them, or they are actually playing it on a computer with some sort of trainer in the background. Sorry, but I just don’t believe that two people have actually played that like that. Unless the new Hammer-Ons and Pull-Offs are about a hundred million times easier, or that you can play one note constantly until you release the fret button by pressing some sort of new button on the controller. I won’t know until I get the game in about 27 days! WEWT!
(By the way: There’s a cheat menu in options, apparently. There’s a cheat code that either A: Lets you just strum to play ANY note, or B: Let’s you just use the fret buttons to play the notes, not the strum bar.)
Oh-ho-ho! By the way, IGN said, "If you can beat Dragonforce’s Through Fire and Flames on expert than you have our utmost respect." So even THEY haven’t done it, and THEY’RE PROFESSIONALS! They get PAID to do it! Plus, the trainers for the PC version are probably already out. You know, trainers? Those bits of software that run in the background and hack the game so it does what you want it to do? Hell, there’s one for Red Alert that gives you UNLIMITED NUKES! And 10,000 credits if you hit the F1 key!
Ya, so I won’t believe that until I do it myself. Or until I see Matt or Si or whoever else is gonna play the game at a difficulty higher than Medium do it. I won’t trust some randoms over the internet doing it, though. Have you seen the PGR3 high scores on the Cone Challenges? There’s one that’s about fifteen million kudos! And when you look at the replay, all he does is skid round the first corner, and gets FIFTEEN MILLION KUDOS FOR IT! WHAT THE HELL?! Now, if you tell me that’s not possible for Guitar Hero, then I won’t believe you.
Oh, and one other thing, if you listen REALLY carefully to that video, then you’ll notice you don’t hear the clicking of any guitars, or the pressing of any keys on the keyboard. You can hear people in the background, so you SHOULD be able to hear guitars clicking! I mean, you could hear slight clicking of our guitars on You Really Got Me, and THAT was loud! Oh, and you can also hear the whammy bar going in our video!
But never mind. If and when I do complete it on Expert, then I’ll have the satisfaction of doing it PROPERLY with no cheats.
And here come all the Guitar Hero veterans about to¬†blab their foul mouths off. I hate gamers like that. "Ehhh fuck u all you all fucking suck fucking donkey cock at guitar hero i can fucking¬†play through the fucking¬†fire and fucking¬†flames with a fucking¬†6000 note combo without fucking¬†losing so fuck you biattttttttttch"…
Dickhead.
 
ANYHOO! Now that’s out of the way…
 
Right, I’m just gonna go through Dragon Worlds and get the chapters and recheck them and stuff… just a sec…
HOLY CRAP! Chapter 14’s INSANELY LONG! Lemme see… one, two… three… four… five! Five and a half pages! OF A4! Jeeesus¬†Christ!
Okay, I’m just gonna put 14 down. Because 15’s about four pages long, too.
Oh, oh, wait…! I’ve just split the chapter in two! That’s cool! Okay, here you go, it IS 14 and 15, now!
 

(Removed, cuz of fear of plagiarism. Call me paranoid.)

 

Yeah, sorry about the "Green Beauty" vs "Black Beauty" pun. Even though it is true, Emerald’s green, Emerald’s beautiful… it works! Sort of…!
So, whaddya thing of thsoe two? Again, any comments, improvements to make, anything to take out? Any spelling mistakes, or grammar errors that Word wouldn’t have a spaz about, like saying that lightheaded should have a hyphen there, and then when I correct it it says it shouldn’t have a hyphen there? Has anyone else read it?
 
Okay, AOLs being a freak and is trying to freeze this webpage by disconnecting and reconnecting, so I’d better be going. Bye!
 
(BITCHIN’! IT FITS!!! ALL OF IT! EEEEEHEHHEHHEHHEHEHHEHEHHEHHE!)

Hmmm… what should I put here today…?

Right, so I’m split between sticking the alternate lyrics for All Rise by Blue that my sister and I made up, or sticking Chapter 14 and maybe 15 of Dragon Worlds here…
 
Okay, I’m gonna stick the lyrics here, it’s pretty late, and I’ll have to go through the whole of the two chapters, and that’ll take me a while.
So, we were listening to All Rise in the car on my sister’s iPod when we were in the queue for KFC. This guy was taking about a million years to get his food,¬†so we started improvising lyrics about OUR DAY! Most of it is faked, though, I didn’t buy 50 grams of pot for ¬£300, nor did a chav throw an egg at my house and get arrested, nor did I go out to buy booze for a party. Nor did I go to the moon, or rap with my alien homies.¬†G.¬†Open-mouthed¬†The rest is all true though, my sister’s bad driving, the queue in KFC, the photographs… Open-mouthed
 
HERE WE GO Y’ALL!
 

Orange –¬†My Day

 

Yo, yo
Yo, yo

 

So I met this dude
In the town center today (day)
He said he would
Sell me fifty grams of pot (pot)
I asked him how
Much he wanted for the stuff (stuff)
He said that three
Hundred pounds would be enough! (nough)

 

So then I wrote him a big fat cheque (dumbass)
For a big pile of white powder
And I really thought I had him fooled
But really it was, just some dib dab sher-her-bet! (hahaha!)
Here we go, oh baby!

 

Chav threw an egg at my house, and then
The cops busted him in jail, it made
My day!
My day!
Drove to the shops at night, and found they
Were out of booze tonight, this was
My day! (I had to cancel that party)
My day! (They’re pissed at me!)

 

The ne-he-xt day
I had gotten over that (that)
Decided to
Go and get rid of some fat (fat) oh yeah
Got to the gym
And I got on the treadmill (mill)
I turned it on
To the highest speed I could (could)

 

But then I saw the warning light (uh oh)
And suddenly found myself in space
The treadmill had thrown me to the moon (the moon!)
Couldn’t believe, it happened oh so soon!
Oh baby!

 

Drove down to KFC, and then this
Blob in a Landrover, held up
The queue!
My day!
Went to get out of my park, ing space and
Forgot to put the car, into
Reverse! (I nearly crashed my stupid car)
My day! (Into a bar!)

 

So I’m settin’ pace, up here in deep space
Rappin’ with all my, badass alien homies G
I jump high, for no apparent reason
Ho-holy crap I just forgot I left the peas on
Get to my house and find that the peas are BURNED (BURNED)
But never mind that I’ll just go and buy some more
I get down to the shops, (t-t-t-)to get some fresh greens
And it says that, they’re from across the border, yum yum.

 

Drove down the multistory, carpark in
Redditch town center, and nearly
Crashed!
My day!
Went to go print off my pho, tographs and
Found out I’d wiped the god, damned memory
Card!
My day!

 

Drove down to KFC, and then this
Blob in a Landrover, held up
The queue!
My day!
Went to get out of my park, ing space and
Forgot to put the car, into
Reverse!
My day!

 

Chav threw an egg at my house, and then
The cops busted him in jail, it made
My day!
My day!
Drove to the shops at night, and found they
Were out of booze tonight, this was
My day! (I’m gonna stop this song right now)
My day! (So this is ciao!)

 

 
Hahaha! Oh, and by the way, my sister and I are gonna sing this. Oh ya, sing it. And upload it. You might want to be away sick that day or something, you know. Open-mouthed
 
I’ll put Dragon Worlds here tomorrow, eekay? Cuz I have to like, go now. Yeah. Yeah, really!
Just remember that a chav threw an egg at my house and then the cops busted him in jail, that made my day! MY DAY!
BYE BYE! Open-mouthed

AAH! I nearly confused myself to high hell!

Alright, so I’m re-reading some of¬†Em’s¬†comments on Dragon Worlds, and then I¬†ran into a HORRIBLE SITUATION! I thought it DIDN’T MAKE SENSE! This is what the problem is with my Advanced Improvisation V2.0, if one thing makes no sense, the whole thing collapses¬†underneath¬†you like a fat man sat on a wooden bridge!
 
So, I regrouped, and sat in front of this monitor (this very nice new 20" widescreen LCD monitor that’s brighter than my ROOM and probably bigger than my TV) for 20 minutes trying to pick up the pieces of my story. Eventually, I had actually un-confused myself, and now it goes like this:
 
X = Name
Thing = Other
 
X is underneath X in thing, and X is underneath X. X wants to thing thingies thing over the thing, and so¬†tells X, who is X thing,¬†to cause thing throughout the thingy things. X accepts, but¬†thingy thingy¬†thing X wants him to thingy thing.¬†X, who is¬†thingying things from X to thing things, doesn’t want to thing any more. He wants to thing X and X, so X tries to thing X, which thingies. X figures out that X tried to thingy X, so X thingies X’s thing, and things thing X, to make him thing in thing. X is thingy, and so thingy, that he things to X about X trying to thingy him. X then¬†things to thing X, which is moderately thing, but overall, things. X doesn’t know that X is thingied to X, or is even¬†thingied to X, and so didn’t know what he was doing, fully. X knows though, and soon enough things to thing X. X manages to thing, and seeks X to thing him the thing. While X is thing with X, X and X thingie without X, X thingies thing, while X continues to thing the thingies, without thingy thing…
 
…Oh my god. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore!
What’s that word that you use when a word loses it’s meaning? Oh my god, I’ve just read it to my sister, and now I’m sick of the words "X" and "thing"! AAAGH!
 
Read it aloud, you’ll get how I feel, dude. Open-mouthed
 
*bangs head on wall*

Newsflash!

Yes, England lost the rugby cup, whatever. But I don’t really care about that, even if they had won, so let’s move onto the more interesting news…

Guitar Hero 3 is out on the 23rd of November! (Americans get it in OCTOBER, those bitches. (no offence, dudes from US and A. Open-mouthed)) There’s a little timer on the page that’s counting down right now, really sad feature of mine! But oh well, I have a right to do that, I pre-ordered it! Yes, one month early! For a nice ¬£40! That comes with a Gibson Les Paul Wireless Controller, too! Bargain!

Okay, I did cheat a little bit. I used the ¬£30 of points on my reward card. I have no idea how I got them, but about ¬£10 of them was someone else buying a PS3 and putting the points on my card, thank you my sister’s friend. Open-mouthed

So that should be landing on my doorstep in about 33 days! Anyone else out there getting it? Matt, don’t get it on PS2, get it on 360, if you have one, then we can have the Multiplayer Duel online! You know, the new one where you mess with your opponent’s guitar by breaking their strings, messing with their whammy bar, and making them play left handed (or right, if they’re already left)? Just get a 360. They’re only a modest ¬£260 from GAME! That’s for the PREMIUM pack, though!

The problem is, I don’t know ANY songs on the set list, apart from "Welcome to the Jungle". Partly because I can’t REMEMBER anything on the set list (it’s massive!) and that most of the band names I’d never heard of…

But oh well! I checked out the trailer on the 360, and it looks frickin’ insane! Graphics look brilliant, the new environments are cool, and the amount of songs will keep anyone entertained for a long time! Plus, you can buy and download new song packs off Xbox Live Marketplace! That’s another reason to get it over the PS2 version. ūüėÄ But, if you DO get it for PS2, you get the Kramer Guitar Controller, which looks cool, but has wires on it. And wires only have one advantage over the wireless 360 controller, the battery can’t run out during a song! That’ll really suck ass if it runs out halfway through an online duel.

But if you’re unfortunate enough to not own it when it’s released, then don’t worry! I’ll happily upload some videos of me playing it, with some taunting of everyone who didn’t get it. Open-mouthed

Earspeck, that’s all! Bye!

(EDIT: That crappy timer doesn’t work, it just resets to zero when you leave the page!)

Aha! That’s not all! I have set myself a challenge! I just watched me and Ped play You Really Got Me, and got a piddly 84,000 points between us.¬†I have teh video, here you go:

http://mongmaster.000webhost.org/2 Guitar Heroes – You Really Got Me (X-M).wmv

Now, I reckon I can add about 20,000 points to that score, or at least exceed it, BY MYSELF! Yes, just me trying to beat the combined score of two people!

After about 10 attempts, one of them was a warm up, in four of them the phone rang halfway through the song, in one of them the controller stopped responding, in two of them I actually beat the target, and in one of them I got just 3,000 under the target. This is how I got on on the 10th attempt:

http://mongmaster.000webhost.org/You Really Got Me – 1v2.wmv

 

 

Whoo hoo! 24,000 points ahead of TWO people doing the same song! OWNAGE!

Eekay, I’ma gonna go now. Bye!

PHOTOSHOP IS INCREDIBLE! (Part 2)

Yes, sorry about the shortness of the last entry. It WAS 1 in the morning… I think…
Okay, so today, we had our projects in. It was amazing the amount of people who got one image and put it on top of a background. Only Aaron and I (Aaron’s a new dude I met) did it PROPERLY! Well, okay, Aaron got flukey and managed to make a sword out of the POLYGON TOOL, ACCIDENTALLY… but I did it the hard way!
Yes! I sketched it out, scanned it in, coloured it in Photoshop, shaded it in Photoshop, used several Photoshop extras such as the lovely smudge tool, and managed to assemble a… pretty damn good game cover over 30 layers!
 
Yes, I said it myself! It’s pretty damn good! Here you go, check it out:
 
http://mongmaster.000webhost.org/Evil Green Man.jpg (PS: THANK YOU MICROSOFT FOR FIXING THE LINKS! Open-mouthedOpen-mouthed)
 
AHHHHAHAHAA! Isn’t that just great? Made with only the marquee tool!
No, no, that’s not the real thing, dude! That’s a JOKE!
 
Here ya goes, this is the real thing now, promise. Open-mouthed
 
No, wait! I’ve got a better idea!
Check out the sketch when it was SKETCHED:
 
Now, check it when it was FINISHED!
 
(Server might be being a retard. It let me load the sketch, but spazzed on the final version.)
(No wait, the file was having an orgasm. Fixed it now, it should work.)
 
Ohhhohoho! What a difference, dude! I think¬†that cover’s alright! Do you?
 
Now, if all goes according to plan with the assignment, I should get at LEAST a Merit. And I’m also in the running for a big fat juicy Distinction! That’s all dependant on what the definition of "Professional" is. If it’s like industry professional, then that’s IMPOSSIBLE with the pathetic computers and tutorials they’re giving us.
 
Earspeck! I’ma gonna be going to do… stuff. Bye!
 

Dragon Worlds – Chapters 12 and 13!

*gasp* Surprised The shocking THIRTEEN! Yes, chapters 12 and 13 are here!
 
Hmmm… big… red highlight… just appeared on my story. Hang on…
Piece-a-shit! Okay, half of chapter 13 was highlighted in red, FOR NO REASON! It just HAPPENED! Then the highlight tool WOULDN’T WORK, so I had to do a nifty little manoeuvre to get it right again. (Wow, manoeuvre is the dumbest word to spell ever! Even worse that pharaoh!)¬†It’s all good now, I’m just going over it for… really dumb mistakes…
 
Earspeck, here it is:
 

(Removed, cuz of fear of plagiarism. Call me paranoid.)

 

Hah! The plot thickens… and only I know what the hell’s gonna happen! Aha! *sings like exact song does* I’VE GOT THE POWER! Open-mouthed
Hehe. Hopefully you liked that, and again, just splat some stuff and comments and grammar errors and spelling checking doodlies and stringy pieces of suggestion on the top! Open-mouthed
Bye bye!
 
(EDIT: WOO! WAHOO! IT ALL FITTED EHEHEE WHOOOOEEEEE!)

OH MY EFFING GOD!

Ahem… so, I go to scan this drawing I made into the computer (not a bad one, at that) and edit it. AS it’s scanning, I see the little drop down box "Resolution"! As one tutorial said, it’s best to scan in at around 200-300 DPI (that’s Dots Per Inch). So, I pull down the box to select 300 DPI, and I nearly CRAP MYSELF!
 
Why?
 
The box goes from 75, 100, 150, 200, 300, 600, 1,200 (DOTS PER INCH?!) 2,400, up to 9,600 in 1,200 increments… and then jumps to NINETEEN THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED! WHAT?! You’d need some sort of MICROSCOPE to fit 19,200 dots in an inch! And then… then it goes to CUSTOM! Muahahaa! 1,000,000 DPI, please!
Awh, it’s too big. The scanner doesn’t have that much memory. (Lmao Open-mouthed)
Okay, it’s scanning at 600, I’ll have it on here in a jiffy!
Maybe about a million jiffies.
OH MY GOD IT TOOK ABOUT THREE YEARS! And what the hell?! How does it know it’s grayscale?! This scanner’s insane!
 
Earkay, this is the uninked version. I’m just gonna pull it into photoshop and go over everything with my nifty graphics tablet in a sec.
http://mongmaster.000webhost.org/Dragon 2.jpg¬†<<< Just colouring¬†the link¬†red so I can see the damned thing in editing mode –¬†Microsoft, can you please make the links blue automatically? It’s impossible with this theme. And can you make it so you can do your OWN themes?
 
Ow, ow, ow! My fingers, ALL of them, have all got cramp in going over this drawing! I can play a computer game for six or seven hours straight without any kind of pains at all, while just using a graphics tablet for about an hour kills them all! WHAT THE HELL?!
Nearly done, I’m just painstakingly going over the teeth…
Ah, the joys of Photoshop. You can get up to 6400% closer without needing a microscope!
Okay, inking in Photoshop, as it turns out… not the best idea. NOW I need to go out and buy an INKING PEN because of all the stupidness of the Artists Pact trying to take over the world.
Here’s the attempted inkiness:
I didn’t shade it much, I was just practicing for my game cover. And now that NeonDragon is now officially a DUMBASS (because she says you need four parts, when you can just so easily start with a circle and a line, followed by another circle, and another line, until you oh-so-gently get a pretty damn¬†fierce dragon) you can ignore her tutorials. Unless you get Photoshop and want to colour, as that’s an okay one, on condition that you have a graphics tablet and can be extremely patient, which the latter isn’t me.
 
Earspeck, I’d better get going on this cover, now I know how to draw a dragon with his mouth open:
http://alecan.deviantart.com/art/Dragonhead-Tutorial-part-four-53967261¬†<<< That’s the one I used, and it’s pretty good. I understood most of¬†it! Can get complicated when there’s about 500 construction lines all over the place, though.
 
Bye!
 
EDIT: Oh, and by the way, listen to this song, please:
Try not to pee yourself laughing. Open-mouthed

Story + Online = Don’t bother!

Just a (relatively) quick one.
 
If you’ve ever decided to upload your story online (to DeviantART, specifically), then just DON’T BOTHER. I had 4 views, by BOTS, in FOUR DAYS. Now it’s so far back in the list that I can’t even see it. It’s mainly the fault of the now very annoying Artists Pact, who have now started to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! No, really, I uploaded my first chapter and prologue, and it got read by FOUR BOTS (maybe three, as one might have been Em) before being rendered as DEAD. Then I looked at one that had been uploaded 20 hours ago, and it had A HUNDRED VIEWS! WHAT?! How the HELL did THAT HAPPEN?! I mean, for christ’s sake, I put a flashy banner on mine, and his was CRAP! It was just the default thing that came with the site! And he had about 6 comments, saying it was good, when it truly wasn’t (it didn’t really make much sense, had no paragraphs, and it was the first chapter, unless I missed something that the Artists Pact had hidden to only be able to be seen by their members) and mine that was up for FOUR DAYS had FOUR VIEWS?!
 
Bah, screw that. If you can find a nice site where you can upload your own freestyle fiction¬†writing, then can you please tell me it? Because, I’ve searched EVERYWHERE, and found a horror website, a website with 500 (LAME!)¬†registered users, a site where no-one has read ANY of the dragon fiction stories, a site for House fan fiction, and a forum where you have to read other people’s stuff and comment on it, otherwise you get kicked off, and the people’s stuff on that website just bored me to death (one about a dragonslayer (and you know how much I hate them) one about some… I have no idea what it was about, and about a million where people had no style, could not spell, use grammar,¬†or know what a PARAGRAPH IS or what the ENTER KEY DOES.)¬†So, if you find something, let me know, eekay? I’d like to get some reviews from randoms. Open-mouthed
 
Earspeck! Bye!