Give up on ULSG, Dragon Storm and Dragon Tail?! No way, dude, that is a STUPID idea. If I was serious about that, I’d have just ended up deleting them, but really, if I did that… well… that would hurt. A lot. Like, REALLY a lot. WordPress is still a stupid bag of crap, and I hate its stupid interface which has too many pointless features and hardly anything is easily accessible, but since everything’s already here, I guess I’m stuck.
ANYWAY, yeah, I’m back. What have I been up to these past months? Well, let’s see… let me stick the different things under headers to make it nicer to read.
UNIVERSTY OF DOOM
My university course is going nicely, well, sort of, apart from the fact that I can’t even stand to LOOK at the fail, impossible-to-use, redundant language that is C++, and would rather use the more intelligent, modern C#. Unfortunately, we can’t… for one of our assignments, anyway. That assignment is rubbish, and the guy who’s teaching us is the most annoying person I’ve ever met. Seriously. And he hasn’t actually taught us anything, hence why we’re all struggling. In our first assignment, we had to make an engine with a bunch of functions to render different things. Mine looked alright, but it was awful, badly coded and half of it didn’t even work, but I somehow got a C. That immediately made me realise that our tutor orgasms over good graphics, and that’s our basic tactic for the second assignment, since we have to use a 10-year-old engine by some retard who can’t code, and it’s impossible to understand.
As for C#, well, I’ve learned a hell of a lot about it and the XNA framework, which is REALLY easy to use. I’ve been using C# for our team project, and this year, it’s going better than I thought it would. At first, we had the worst idea in history and I hated the nuts off it. Fortunately, we scrapped it, and changed our idea to something much better, kind of a cross between a side-scrolling-shooter and a helicopter-tunnel-gravity-survival-game-thing. I called it “Project Jet-Powered-Squirrel”. Ya rly.
That’s until we came up with a proper name, “Fluidity”, although the solution is still known as “Project Jet-Powered-Squirrel”. I daren’t change it, because last time I changed a solution name… urrrrgh.
We reached Beta a couple days ago, and, well…
I reckon we’ve done an awesome job, but I just wished that everyone was contributing at a nice rate and actually doing stuff we need, not stuff we don’t need, like new ships. We already have five player ships, and that’s about three more than I thought was necessary for this project. It’s been coded in C# using the XNA framework, which is the shit. The programming is… um… about 80% mine.
There are things in there that I would have never been able to do if I’d have never gone on this course. That random terrain generator, for example, is pretty advanced. It’s more difficult to code a game than with MMF2, but it’s incredibly powerful. I don’t prefer it over MMF2 yet, but that’s because it’s got a bigger learning curve. I’m still learning.
GAMES OF DOOM
I’ve tried out quite a lot of new games while I was away. I got Bulletstorm for the Xbox, and it was AMAZING, quite frankly. The multiplayer is a little shallow (there’s not really that much to do), but the single player campaign is THE most epic campaign I’ve experienced in an FPS. I don’t want to give too much away – you should just give it a try and see.
Also on the Xbox 360, I rented Soul Calibur IV, which is quite good. The story mode for each character is so short it’s ridiculous, and all that’s different is the ending, but the combat system is pretty cool; outfacing at first, but cool when you get used to it. The graphics are just crazy, especially impressive in the character creation mode (the character creator’s depth is just impossible, as in “good” impossible ). I’ve completed the story mode with Nightmare, Sigfried and Lizardman so far, who were all good, but Lizardman stands out for me. Not just because he looks awesome, but I can seem to use him better than the others, kinda like how I can use Ryu or Ken better than any other character in Street Fighter.
I’ve also tried out Test Drive Unlimited 2, which was… yeah, there’s gotta be at least one… it was bullshit. The story is shite, the world is boring, the voice acting made me want to vomit, you need to jump through hoops to obtain plot coupons… SORRY, licenses to continue, and the races are so easy they almost made me fall asleep, no joke. Oh, and the multiplayer doesn’t work, or it didn’t for me. After my first few races, I just wanted to stop racing against idiotic bots and stupid times and fake scores and just play some multiplayer against REAL people. Unfortunately, it couldn’t find a game. Didn’t even seem to try. And even if it did, it’d be boring because I’d constantly be at the back, because you race with your own car, and most people don’t restrict their races and everyone races with Ferraris. Do I have a Ferrari? No. Do I want to play against boring bots and do boring missions in a boring environment to obtain a Ferrari? No. So screw it.
On the PC, I got into the Darkspore publicity stunt… SORRY, Beta, and quite liked it. However, that was until I discovered there’s no Creature Creator, and that damn near kills it. This bullshit excuse people keep giving me “it’s not like the original Spore” does not matter – they have the ability to implement a creature creator, they have the code, they have the brains… and they didn’t do it. And there’s no reason for it apart from laziness. I don’t want to play as preset creatures which you can barely modify. I want to make my own. It’s not a bad game, it’s just let down because I know it doesn’t have everything it could have. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t buy a game that I know could have been made better. Another thing that ruins it is the fact that it’s connected to a central server, MMORPG style. And that slows things down, such as buying upgrades, buying and selling items, saving creatures, switching creatures in the editor… using abilities… attacking… MOVING…
I reckon I’d be able to change my mind if I could play with at least two other players… but unfortunately, interest among my friends seems to have evaporated in favour of playing more Star-Boring-Unbalanced-Rushy-Non-Tactical-Hotkey-Obsessed-Play-In-The-Correct-Order-Each-Time-And-You-Will-Win-Piece-Of-Shit-Graphics-Game-Most-People-Who-Play-This-Have-Never-Played-The-Original-Game-Craft 2, which is odd, because one of them has only ever played Darkspore once (and we didn’t even finish because the server spazzed up), and another I don’t think has ever played it at all. Since it’s really boring solo, I guess that means I won’t be bothering with it. I still have a Darkspore beta key if anyone’s interested in trying it.
On the PSP, I played Patapon, which I thought would be awful, but it’s a really good game. It was let down by its retarded difficulty curve and the fact that getting good units was almost impossible. Patapon 2 is much better, and its difficulty doesn’t wave all over the place as much, but the evolution map confuses the hell out of me. There are so many different types of Patapon, I don’t have a CLUE which one to use – I usually have to figure it out by trial and error. Still, it’s a great little game which looks childish, but it’s difficult, filled with really interesting gameplay, it’s very replayable and to top it off, it contains some pretty cool music. When you reach Fever Mode, the voice that yells “FEEEVERRRRRR!!!” and the fully-evolved version music track which follows it is REALLY awesome, not to mention the epic “Daa DAA da-DAAAA! Daa DA-DAAAA! Daa daa da-DAAAA!” chant when you activate Hero Mode. I reserved Patapon 3 from LoveFilm, which comes out pretty soon. It’s extremely rare for me to look forward to a PSP game.
Got a bunch more games on my rental list, including Ace Combat 6, Final Fantasy XIII and The Legend of Spyro: Dawn Of The Dragon. And that’s quite weird, since I frown upon the new trilogy with almost inhuman hate. Although the first part of the reboot was an OK game at its core (just “OK”), tagging it with “Spyro” instantly makes it a part of the Spyro series, which makes me compare it to the epic Spyro 3. And that’s a bad idea, because compared to the old Spyro games, the new trilogy is a can of shit… with sprinkles of bum fluff. And coated in liquid cancer. It stars a whiney, pathetic, pitiful excuse for a dragon voiced by Elijah Wood, who has an annoying voice. He’s accompanied by a sidekick who serves no purpose other than comic relief… which is a shame, because he’s not even funny and sounds as if he’s not even trying. If they’d released it under a different IP with different lead characters, that would have been great. I’d have respected the first game to a certain degree, and Spyro’s name wouldn’t be ruined. But no, it’s Spyro, it’s shameful, and the worst part is that the furry community now has their “paws” on him, and he’s not even a shadow of his former awesomeness. You see:
Urrrrggrgghhhh… R.I.P, Spyro. I’ll miss ya, buddy.
Not sure why I’m renting the third. Maybe because the third one was made by a different studio (which I’ve NEVER heard of) and it allows you to free-fly. Don’t you worry, I’ll review the hell out of it when I play it.
I think that’s it for the games section. Apart from that I’m looking forward to Dynasty Warriors 7 (which keeps getting its release date knocked back), Portal 2 and of course, Duke Nukem Forever. And Dungeons is crap. And that I’m a complete moron for saying that I didn’t like Sonic Heroes. And that I kick so much ass at Bejeweled Blitz, even God wouldn’t be able to beat my score.
WORDPRESS IS THE WORST THING SINCE CANCER
Right. This entry is still being written, since WordPress thinks it’s fucking hilarious to lie about publishing your entry, and instead save it as a draft and delete the last 1000 words. Yes, seriously, THAT HAPPENED. >.<
At this point I think it was the time when I mentioned that it was quite a long entry and offered you a Kit-Kat. So here you go:
Omnomnomnom. Finished? Alrighty, where were we?
MY GAMES OF DOOM
Not really done much on this front. ULSG is progressing VERY slowly, due to University and because it’s as badly coded as WordPress or some C++ program by Jim Adams. Dragon Storm is moving along a little faster because it’s so much nicer to code and much more advanced, but again, University slows it down a lot.
I don’t really post updates about my projects here – usually I only post major updates here, such as the announcement of a big new feature or announcing when it’s been released. More detailed updates can be found on my Ultimate Lame Ship Game V13 and Dragon Storm Daily Click project pages. Project pages don’t have RSS feeds, unfortunately, but you can bookmark them if you want.
BLOG IMPROVEMENTS OF DOOM
Unfortunately, I can’t fix the Hundred Irritations of WordPress, but I can add a new section. At the top right on the main screen, just under about, you’ll see a ridiculous link called “MongMaster’s Epic List of Games and Other (Bad Word)”. Clicking on it will take you to an unfinished page with a picture of a male chicken at the bottom. When it IS finished, it’ll have almost everything I’ve ever made on it: games (even really old ones which you’ve never seen before), 3D renders (including some prototypes/tests which I’ve never posted), traditional artwork (I don’t have much of that, really ) and Dragon Tail.
The games list won’t contain EVERYTHING I’ve ever made, partly because some of the things I’ve made are utilities, VERY unfinished games or pointless apps, and partly because some of them are so goddamn awful that I couldn’t upload them even if I had Duke Nukem’s BALLS OF STEEL… coated in aluminium… and diamond. I WILL upload my first “full” game, which I believe was Rampage. It might have crappy controls, lame gameplay, an extremely obvious exploit and music ripped from War Wind (it’s good music, though ), but when you pump up the maximum number of objects to 20,000 (from 500), it’s crazy. It does have potential, though, but I’m not sure which direction I should take it. I may make Rampage 2 at some point, or maybe Rampage Reloaded? Or Rampage <Insert Suffix Here>?
I’ve already shared pretty much every finalised render I’ve ever done at some point on this blog, but there are a few other renders which I never completed. Some of them are quite cool, the most notable probably being some of Shadow practicing Irushkai. Irushkai, in the Dragon Tail universe, is one of the Draconic Arts, which are basically like martial arts for dragons. Since the Draconic Arts don’t exist, no-one can complain about form or anything like that, and that’s awesome, since I know pretty much nothing about martial arts. Although you could sort of compare Irushkai to Taekwondo, since the Art only involves attacking with the lower body; usually just the legs and feet, but some branches of the style use the tail as well. I don’t know why exactly, but if I imagine dragons fighting like that, it almost overloads my brain with epicness, and I can’t understand why no-one else has ever thought of this. Posing them in DAZ Studio is possible, but difficult, and it’s even more difficult to get a good render angle, but I’m amazed they can even get into the correct positions. The SubDragon is impossibly versatile.
I don’t have that much traditional artwork, really. I have picked up a pencil every so often recently and tried improving my skillz, but I have next to no artistic talent. Probably doesn’t help that I only ever draw dragons, which aren’t particularly easy, but there aren’t that many other things that I feel like drawing. Drawing people is boring. I do have the Notepad of Doom, though… which is filled with crappy art, but it’s totally random and quite funny in places, so I might post that!
As for Dragon Tail… well, I’ll probably only end up posting the first few chapters, and not letting it go too far into the story. That’s because I really don’t know what kind of potential it has. It could be absolutely brilliant and be a massive hit, but then again, it might be awful and embarrassing. I estimate the final word count will be around 250,000 words, and I don’t know whether that’s far too long or just right. My view on dragons, their traditions, their lifestyles, their language (friss ir’s amaka tarakar ovar frenteknara ) and their nature may be welcomed, or it might be shunned. I don’t know. When I make a game, I know whether it’s good or bad, and 99% of the time, I know exactly what’s wrong with it – it’s an instinct. Dragon Tail is different, because it’s my first major piece of writing, and I don’t particularly like reading anymore (I loved it when I was a kid, but nowadays, it’s difficult to find something interesting amongst all the boring bullcrap that comes out nowadays ), so I have no idea if what I’m doing is actually good or not. If it does turn out to be a pile of fail, I’ll post the entire thing. Because big piles of fail are what make WordPress.
So yeah, I’ll get those pages finished soon.
ENDING OF DOOM
I think that’s all. Let’s hope WordPress doesn’t forget half of this again. In fact, I’m gonna copy and paste the HTML into Notepad just in case.
Now, I’m gonna put on an iron shirt and chase Satan out of Eart’.